Saturday, October 22, 2016

How to be funny

Learn from the best. Study stand-up comedians, the delivery and timing. Actively study what makes you laugh and how the joke works.

Learn to tell jokes

Do something silly every day, to loosen up and get relaxed

Laugh every day

Learn jokes and puns. Practice telling them.

Stop telling people how funny you are, how hilarious your jokes are and stop laughing at your own jokes.

Learn to see the funny, the ridiculous, the absurd, the laughable, the joke in every situation.

Can't hurt...

I don't know how, why or if this works, but - if you keep doing the footwork, it can't really hurt if you try the different psychological things as well.

There are some very important points to mind, here!

Whether this is true or not, there are still things you need to DO.
It might be so that your body just magically transforms itself and you wake up 50 kg lighter and able to do splits without having done anything to reach that state, but I see it more like this:
you get an idea of something, let's say you want to be able to do the splits.
The first thing you should ask yourself is WHY you want to be able to do the splits. Is it because it will make your dream of learning to dance, climb or do martial arts easier, or because you think you'll be sexier then or what. Because THAT is the REAL goal here, not the ability to do the splits. If you want to be able to do the splits just to be able to do them, then it is the real goal, but you need to know this.
Then you need to accept that it is possible.
Then you need to focus on thinking how it feels to do the splits.
Then you need to keep your eyes open for any "messages from the Universe" that will lead you to the splits, if you receive the message. Like, being on Pinterest and suddenly all your contacts start pinning stretches and splits...
Then you need to do it. It might take a week, a month, a year, but it most certainly will take shorter time if you start now, than if you wait for a week, a month or a year to begin.

You also need to prepare for it. Get the equipment, clothes, spot where to do the splits, safety precautions and whatnots. There are for example weight requirements to bungee jumping and some other safety regulations when it comes to climbing, diving, skydiving etc.
It doesn't hurt to save money, even when you trust "the Universe" to pay for everything.
You can study languages or knots or something other like that as you wait for the door to open. Just think how you could be ready for the opportunity to knock at your door. If someone stopped you at the street and told you that you have just won a free trip to Paris, all expenses paid, if you can leave in 2 hours, could you? What do you wish you had done before? Because it could happen.

Now, here are the Abraham's 5 steps:

1. want - think about the things you want to have in your life
2. know it already exists and it's on its way - all you need to do is open the door when the doorbell rings.
3. the vibration turns to the emotions that turn to the manifestation - keep feeling how it is going to be when you have the physical manifestation in your life
4. feel good inspite of everything - "You’re living unconditionally.  You’re not needing things to be a certain way in order to feel good.  So when you see a little contrast, you don’t see it as something that’s gone wrong.  You see it as an opportunity of clarification.  You see it as an opportunity for you to define or refine even more clearly who you are and what you want.”
5. welcome contrast and diversity

Extreme Sports: What's the Appeal?

The Whip and the Carrot 
by me, 22/4-06

“I learnt many years ago that, if you look carefully, you will see that there are only two basic sources of motivation: love and fear (or carrot and whip, if you prefer). This means that there are scary reasons and fun reasons to swatch.”
— Annette Petavy, “Joy of Swatching

It’s like with Pollyanna and the different handles of the jar… Everything has two sides and if one only learns to look at the smooth and nice side of things, the carrot, instead of getting hurt with the icky, sticky, yucky side of things, everything becomes so much nicer.

Seeing the possibilities in situations, instead of the hinders. Seeing the getting lost as a change to see and learn something one never had had the possibility to see and learn otherwise. See it as a gift from above…

I was thinking of 9/11. A lot less people died than expected. Many were late for job for various, insignificant, petty, irritating reasons. Someone had new shoes and needed a small job done – another one had a child who was being “impossible”, a third took the phonecall that came just when she was closing the door… the buss was just a little late, the train was just a little too full, the hiss was broken, there was something wrong with the coffee, so it was changed. Small, petty things, that saved lives…

I am thinking of serendipity and apocatastasis
Serendipity means a "fortunate happenstance" or "pleasant surprise". It was coined by Horace Walpole in 1754. In a letter he wrote to a friend, Walpole explained an unexpected discovery he had made by reference to a Persian fairy tale, The Three Princes of Serendip. The princes, he told his correspondent, were "always making discoveries, by accidents and sagacity, of things which they were not in quest of".
Apocatastasis is the teaching that everyone will, in the end, be saved. It looks toward the ultimate reconciliation of good and evil; all creatures endowed with reason, angels and humans, will eventually come to a harmony in God's kingdom.

“the Chinese word for crisis is the same as for opportunity”
[It’s not true, though… but the idea is good :-) (it's "opportunity, chance of danger")]

I love the story of the old man and the horse.
The man had a mare, who ran away.
Everyone said how sorry they were for the misfortune, but the old man said that one couldn’t say whether it was a fortune or misfortune.
The mare came back, and 11 months later gave birth to a pretty little colt.
Everyone told the man how lucky he was. He said that one couldn’t say whether it was good or bad.
The horse grew up and the man’s son started to teach it to carry a rider. The horse threw the boy from his back, and the boy broke his leg.
 Everyone came to the old man and said how sorry they were – and, now again, the man stated that one cannot know whether it’s a good or a bad thing.
A war broke out and all the young men were taken to war – except for the old man’s son. He couldn’t go because his leg was broken…
One can’t say whether something is for the best or the worst.
Elmer Diktonius
The Jaguar

From green leaves protrude
red muzzle,
eyes with triangular gaze
whiskers undulation claw paw –
you  fly! my heart’s jaguar!
so fly and bite and rip and ravage!

Biting is necessity as long as bites give life.
Killing is holy as long as corruption stinks
and life’s ugliness must be savaged
until beauty and wholeness can grow from its remains.
Thus are we, the two of us, my poem and I, one claw.
One will we are, one paw, one fang.
Together we are a machine that strikes.

We want to kill the cry of the indifferent
the compassion of the heartless
the religiosity of the sceptics
the impotence of the strong
the evil weakness of the good;
we want to give birth by killing
we want to make room
we want to see
sunspots dancing.


Do you think
strong paws feel no pain?
Do you think the jaguar has no heart?
O he has
father mother mate, young.
The wilderness is great
cold is the wind of autumn
in the jaguar’s belly dwell
loneliness despair.
The jaguar can kiss a flower.
He has tears;


Waterfalls murmur long.
The jaguar is asleep.
An ant is licking one of his claws.
Who is whispering:
the morning is coming
sunspots are dancing?


Sunspots are dancing! —
All is numbly whirling.
In a single bound
the jaguar hurls himself over
the crests of the spruce trees —
hear the laughter of stars in his roaring! —
a lightning-volt in the air:
like an arrow deep in the earth’s breast.
"I’ve followed you on many adventures. Into the great-unknown mystery… I go first, Indy."
Wu Han, Indiana Jones and Temple of Doom

The meaning of the tarot card Death

Thursday, October 20, 2016

Think positively, act positively...

This is a lousy goal. Not that it is lousy to think and act positively, no, that is amazing and changes thing completely, no. But it is not a SMART goal.

It is not specific.
It is not measurable.
It's not timeable.

So it's a lousy goal.

How to make it SMART?

It is easy to make it measurable and timeable. Just add "for a week" or "for a day" or "three months".

But specific? You have to ask yourself what this means.

* You have to start monitoring your thoughts and your inner speech. It is important and you need to listen to it. Every derogative comment, on yourself and others, is an expression of fear and envy. Address that fear and that envy, and the voice will shut up.

* Have "the opposite" day.

Every time you think something tell yourself, "no, the opposite!"
"I'm so fat and ugly and unfit and everyone hates me."
"NO, the opposite. You body is OK, you look OK, you are fit enough and even when most of the people don't have an opinion on you, there's a lot of people who likes you."

"I'm gonna fail!"
"NO, the opposite! You are going to succeed, and learn a couple of ways how NOT to do it, too!"

"I hate my life"
"NO, the opposite! I don't feel so good right now, but this is temporary, and my life is going to be f-ing awesome soon, as it has mostly been! I love my life!"

* Replace the not nice things in your life with nice things.

Start by changing one thing to better in your life.
Change your wardrobe so that you will be wearing what ever you want to wear every day.

Change every item in your home, every detail, so that you will be coming home and everything you see is lovely.

Stop listening to someone else's playlists and start listening to your own.
Stop reading someone else's books and start reading and re-reading your own favorites.

Change your eating habits and eat what ever you LOVE as much as you want to for as long as it feels OK. Forget dietists and nutritionists and portions and daily recommendations. If you want to live of ice cream, do so.
(This part needs a warning, though! Don't eat things you think SHOULD be delicious. Don't eat candy until the bag is empty. Don''t empty the plate. Eat just as much as you really, seriously want to.
Enjoy everything you put in your mouth. If you are not enjoying it, don't eat it. Don't eat because you are tired or sad or bored or used to or conditioned to think something is good. TASTE the food. Feel the texture. Enjoy it. I promise you that when you eat EXACTLY what you want to eat, as much as you want, when you want, NOT MORE NOR LESS, you will not be overweight and you won't be suffering of malnutrition. It really is this simple, but the trick is to get over the "supposed to" and "used to".)

* Smile more. Have a goal to smile every day at least once. Then upgrade that to laughing every day at least once..

Now, the important thing here is that you need to select the thoughts and other things that make you smile and laugh carefully. It's bad for you to laugh at "stupid people doing stupid things".
Though I have to say I think Aristocats and the "dogs chasing Edgar" is hilarious.

But try to find good, clean jokes and kitten antics and other such "nice" things. Most practical jokes are not really funny. It isn't funny if someone gets hurt.
Though I have to admit I laugh at the cat who tried to jump from frozen car and slipped and just the sight of the cat floating so way past the intended goal all the paws stretched as if the jump had been successful... that is funny. Sorry cat! I'm glad you are OK and I hope nothing more than pride was hurt that day.

Not only think positively, act positively!
When you think "I can't", prove yourself wrong and show that you can! Might not happen immediately, might not happen exactly the way you thought, but if there's the will, there's a way.

Thursday, October 6, 2016

Being a Godmother/Godfather

1) Be a great aunt

2) Make the child feel special. 
If your godchild is a sibling, see that you give e presents that are bigger, better and/or more than to the other siblings. (Don't forget the other siblings either. They might not have as good godparents, and that will come out as envy or sibling rivalry, which is a horrible thing.)
Send him/her snailmail. Write letters, send packages, write postcards.
Remember name days. After all, you were made officially the godparent by the name giving ceremony.

3) Take some economical responsibility.
Start a saving account the moment you know you are going to become a godparent and save a small sum of money every month, so that you have money to give when the child is 18 or needs or wants some extra. 10 dollars a month for 18 years makes over 2000 dollars. The more you can save, the more money there is. It could pay for the first car, an education, travel or something else like that.

More Than 30 Movies With Dragons

Dragon crusaders
Dragon Fighter
Dragon Hunter
Dragon Storm
Dragones: Destino de Fuego
DragonHeart 1-3
Dragons II: the Metal Ages
Dragons: Fire and Ice
Dungeons & Dragons
D-War - Dragon Wars
Fire and Ice: The Dragon Chronicles
Flight of the Dragons
George and the Dragon
Gojira vs. Kingu Gidora
Harry Potter
How to Train Your Dragon
Merlin and the War of the Dragons
Mulan (It took me some time to remember Mushu...)
Pete's Dragon
Reign of Fire
Spirited Away
The Dragon Pearl
The Hobbit 2 and 3
The Neverending Story

Tuesday, October 4, 2016

What if you HATE someone's bucket list?

Huh? Why is this even a question?

You ignore it and move on to work on your own list.

That is, don't do as I do, do as I say :-D

There are, though, some exceptions to this rule.


Some examples of this are:

- owning a wild animal, having an exotic pet, having a wild animal as a pet.

Yeah, sure, I understand why someone would want to have a pet fox, hawk, raven or tiger, but these animals are not supposed to be domesticated, which means that they won't do well as pets. They most likely require more experience and knowledge than normal, ordinary human beings have, and suffer from lack of it. They are not as adaptable as dogs, cats and rats, which is WHY THEY HAVEN'T BEEN DOMESTICATED YET.
Your desire to be unique is not even on the list of reasons why you should have a pet and which pet you should have.

People who get a pet "because it's cute/cool/different/that other person had one, too, so I can! (especially when this other person is fictional)" 
are stupid, egoistic a-holes who shouldn't be allowed to be responsible for another life, 
not even a pet rock! 
Animals are not fashion accessories!

- learning to deform animals, deforming animals, allowing people to deform animals  or owning a deformed animal

Animals are not to be declawed, devocalized, earcropped, taildocked, -nicked or -blocked, descented, devoiced, detoed, dewinged, pinioned, dubbed, mulesed or in any other way mutilated.
- animal hoarding and puppy mills
 - owning a fighting animal, wanting to participate in animal fighting, seeing animal fighting. 
Anything from cock fights to dog fights to bull fights. Human animals have a choice, other animals don't. Go see a boxing match or UFC match if you want to see two animals hurt each other.

- sex without explicit consent AND both/all involved fully understanding of the concept and consequences of the act
Which means sex with children, animals, mentally handicapped people, intoxicated people, people coerced in any way, people in a submissive position, people depended on you, like patients, employees and people of lesser rank.

- enslaving people, participating in it, condoning it, supporting it or in any way making it possible
This refers primarily to trafficking, so most sex industry is "off limits", unless you can be sure all involved are adult, consenting human beings.
But this includes all sorts of slavery
Someone is in slavery if they are:
- forced to work - through mental or physical threat;
- owned or controlled by an 'employer', usually through mental or physical abuse or the threat of abuse;
- dehumanised, treated as a commodity or bought and sold as 'property';
- physically constrained or has restrictions placed on his/her freedom of movement.
Go to Anti-Slavery and End Slavery Now and familiarise yourself with the situation, so that you learn to make educated choices and not cause other people harm through your ignorance. 

- any act threatening the existence of a species or ecosystem
I don't know enough to be able to give you an exhaustive answer to what kind of bucketlist goals this refers to, but some things are obvious.
- Big game hunting and trophy hunting.

- owning/wearing pieces of endangered species, like certain types of fur or feathers, like ocelot fur or egret feathers. Just read about "plume hunting". Beastly practice!
- owning things made of threatened trees, like mahogany or rosewood.
- eating threatened species. I mean, there are still species people eat, and some of these are on people's bucket list. Like primates, bluefin tuna and sharks. Salmon "factories" are threatening all the sealife species. In Norway they buy salmon food from Iceland, where they fish anything in the Atlantic to grind to salmon food... which makes fish like herring endangered! EDUCATE YOURSELF!!!

- using certain minerals or products created using these minerals. Mining is a big threat to environment and thus species, diamond industry is notorious for its negative effects and coral reefs are threatened by people wanting coral jewelry and other items made of it.

- Certain travel goals

Some people SERIOUSLY want to destroy cultural and environmental monuments by scribbling their mark on them. People want to leave their mark in things like the Giant's Causeway or Sydney Opera House.
To me it's equal to f-ing Daish destroying the cultural heritage.

They are also planning on closing certain sites due to the tourism. EVERYONE wants to visit places like Taj Mahal and Machu Picchu, and even though the mere moving and breathing in the same place is wearing, some people have no scruples and leave their crap behind them. People take things with them as souvenirs, some even chiseling pieces off of buildings or rock paintings. People are touching and stroking and climbing on things. It's like people think they have to get the experience and everyone else can go F themselves.

I mean... how can people think it's OK to carve your mark in historical sites and buildings? Or there was this Finnish guy (Oh, the SHAME!!! I'm Finnish, too...) who actually cut off an earlobe on Easter Island! I agree with the mayor, he should have gotten his ear cut off too! 17.000 dollars as fine isn't enough!  And people are drawing on the stones in US national parks. Why? And TAKING PHOTOS OF THEIR VANDALISM, TOO!? Idiots!

Also, we are destroying Galapágos just by being human beings. They should empty the island from all human life, and allow visitors only on a sailboat. And they may not sleep on island, nor take with them anything but their camera, and they have to wash themselves and wear a protective suit to visit the island to avoid contamination, and if they want to use a toilet, they have to wait until they get back to the boat. We humans can live anywhere, even space. The unique species of Galapágos can't live anywhere but there.

*sigh* Reading things like this make me think the whole traveling business is evil and must stop. The cheap flying business is really ecologically destructive.

Uh. I get too depressed by all this. :-( So I'm going to stop.

But just think of the consequences of your actions.
 If you have a dream, you can be sure others have the same dream, and think what the consequences are if every person visiting Stonehenge wants a piece of it with them, or wants to write their mark on them? No Stonehenge left.
If every person wants a real cat fur coat. No cat fur left for cats. No leopards, ocelots, jaguars and lynxes left.
Some dreams are not made to be followed...

Sunday, October 2, 2016

How to be a great aunt/uncle

1) learn to know the person who your niece/nephew is
Get involved
Be interested. Ask how they are doing, what they want to do when they grow up, etc.
Be encouraging, empowering, supportive and listen

2) stay connected
Write letters, postcards, text messages, emails; call e, communicate in all available means. Just to say you are available and attainable and you have always time for e.

3) remember the birthdays and other important dates and events

4) show up
for recitals, shows, graduations etc.

5) spend quality time together
have sleepovers, ice-cream outings and auntie/uncle-niece/nephew dates when you do things that e wants to do

6) spoil e
Give them presents. Send them things. Reward them for good things, achievements etc. Give them equipment they need for their hobbies. Surprise them. Pay for classes.

7) take them to places
travel with e, take trips with e, road trips, day trips, visit zoos, aquariums, amusement parks, museums, conserts...

8) play with e
from makebelieve to board games.
Joke with them. Have an "inner joke" that's just between you two.
Teach them party tricks and magic tricks etc.
Let them do some "dangerous" stuff they are not allowed to do by parents.
Teach them some good practical jokes (that is, things that don't embarrass or hurt people) and get them novelty items like whoopee cushions and fake mustache etc.)

9) bring the sweet stuff; candy, baked goods, desserts...

10) be the mom/dad surrogate
Instead of being the boring parent, you are the cool older person that protects e and is there for e whenever e needs you.
Be the one e can count on on being on e's side.
Be the one e will run away to, and the one e confesses to. (Respect the confidentiality. Take your role as seriously as a priest. You may tell the kid that you think it would be best if e told e's parents, but you may not go and tell the parents.)

11) be a role model

Have an exciting life. Do all the things you want to do. Get the job you want. Be the kind of adult you would have wanted around you when you were a child. Become your ideals and idols.

Make your life such that you don't need to hide anything, you don't need to wish for anything better, you don't need to be ashamed.

12) tell stories about the time when you and your siblings were small
Skip the "moral teaching" and "you should really --- more!" stuff. One of the best teachings I got from my parents was when my dad spoke about how he always tries to be extra nice to shop clerks. They are people doing their job, and it helps them give my dad better service. To the point that they actually told him if there was any specials waiting in the future or putting aside things they thought my father might like. :-D Nothing about that I should do that, but I do, and it works like magic :-D

13) be a good sibling to e's parents
Never go against the child's parents' wishes, values, goals and rules. You have to find a way to support the child without violating the trust of the parents or disrespecting them. Don't undermine them, don't say negative things about them.
Tell them what you do and have done.
The point with this is that if the child wants to get away from e's parents, they should be able to allow this to happen, because they know the kid will run to you, and they know they can trust you. The most important thing here is the child, who should have a safe environment to learn who e is.

14) teach them what you are good at

15) create an annual tradition
Take the kid to ballet, a game, an event...

16) hug them and tell them that you love them
Tell them how you admire them. Tell them what you appreciate in them. Tell them how you love them using all the Languages of Love. That is not just something you share with your lover, it's for every person you love.

17) Have a cabinet of curiosity or treasure chest, and let them rummage through it when they visit.

Saturday, October 1, 2016

"I want to do what e does!"


On this Pinterest board all the things MacGyver did or spoke having done in the tv show will be gathered.

James Bond

On this Pinterest board all the things Bond did or was mentioned having done in the movies will be gathered

Fear Factor

On this Pinterest board all the challenges from the tv show Fear Factor will be gathered