I remember that day when I realized it was 100 months to my 50th birthday, and that would give me 2 months for each goal on my "50 before 50" list... Now it's 500 days. 10 days to each...
I don't think I have done anything :-D
No, it's not a laughing matter, but it's better to laugh than cry.
The Bucket List is there, not to create expectations and stress, but to give us the necessary structure to get things done.
I started this blog to help me help myself by helping others, because when I look at other people's lists, I can see how easily manageable they are! Yet my own...
One of my biggest obstacles is fear of success. What is going to happen if I succeed? What if what I expect to happen won't happen?
I mean... as long as I don't write the book, I don't need to care if it won't get published. Or it will get published but no-one buys it. Or everyone buys it, and then I have to write another book? What if I can't? Or what if I can and then I have to write a third book and fourth and there's always the seventh book that takes 10 times longer than everyone expects and everyone will hate me because of it? What if I get really rich and what then? What horrible things will happen because of that?
I know what it's like being poor and it's a handy excuse to not do things, I don't know what it's like to be rich and what will I use as an excuse then?
What if I don't like traveling? What if all I remember is the stink and heat and mosquitoes and bedbugs and that someone stole my bag? What if I get some disease that will change the rest of my life?
What if I get all fit and thin and beautiful and fashionable - and no-one treats me any different?
What if they do?
WHAT IF I DON'T FEEL ANY DIFFERENT AFTER HAVING REACHED MY GOALS?!?!
LOL
Yeah... it is silly. And paralyzing fear of unknown.
I mean... I'm still waiting for the outside reward, not the reward of actually doing things.
I ran when I was young because I loved running. I don't run any more, because my condition sucks, it hurts, I get all sweaty and tired and sick, it hurts several days after and doesn't make me any fitter. (Part of fibromyalgia - it's like having a light inflammation all the time, which means that the muscles won't heal and won't build up, so the physical condition won't improve. It's why people who are sick are told not to do any heavy exercises, because they just make things worse.)
Ah. Excuses, excuses.
What if... things change to better and I can handle what ever happens, AS I HAVE BEEN DOING MY WHOLE LIFE. Come on, that's what we do! Everyone alive today has been able to handle what happens. Or most of them. Some people just lie in bed apathetically, shut down, staring at the wall, or sleeping, or trying to sleep. But on the other hand, they are handling what happens, too. Some people go to jail, some people go insane, but they too are handling what happens. Might not be the best way of doing that, but they are handling it. Aren't they?
Most of us are "just living". Most of us don't do anything drastic or extreme.
I am 50 in two years. There's a lot of things that "should" have happened during the first 50 decades of my life that didn't happen. I have never been pregnant. I have never given birth to a child. I don't own a house. I haven't been able to hold a job for more than half a year. I don't speak 10 languages fluently. I am not rich and successful. I don't have a college education. I don't have a best friend with whom I have done a road trip through Europe. I didn't Interrail. I didn't go to space.
The thing is that I don't need to. There's millions of people in the world who didn't.
And the thing is that it's not too late to most of these things... as an author NOTHING is impossible to me. Tove Jansson was never pregnant nor did she give birth, but she created the ultimate mother to many Finnish kids. Moominmamma.:-D And Astrid Lindgren was "mother" to many children.
I think this is another big obstacle. I don't NEED to. I don't have the passion for these things.
I also don't have the focus, determination and tenacity to keep doing the same thing over and over for months, which is needed for mastery. One just needs to look at the regularity of posts in this blog :-D
(I'm sorry about that, but - hey, that's me. If you can't appreciate the gold nuggets I'm spreading because I do that irregularly and rarely, don't. Doesn't bother me at all. Your loss.)
So - the probability of me doing much anything the next 500 days is minimal. I have the potential, I have the knowhow, but I don't have the persistence.
But - I know the problem and I know how to solve it.
The trick of how to stop procrastinating is to stop procrastinating!
The trick of how to persist is to persist.
The trick of how to do anything is TO DO ANYTHING.
I don't think I have done anything :-D
No, it's not a laughing matter, but it's better to laugh than cry.
The Bucket List is there, not to create expectations and stress, but to give us the necessary structure to get things done.
I started this blog to help me help myself by helping others, because when I look at other people's lists, I can see how easily manageable they are! Yet my own...
One of my biggest obstacles is fear of success. What is going to happen if I succeed? What if what I expect to happen won't happen?
I mean... as long as I don't write the book, I don't need to care if it won't get published. Or it will get published but no-one buys it. Or everyone buys it, and then I have to write another book? What if I can't? Or what if I can and then I have to write a third book and fourth and there's always the seventh book that takes 10 times longer than everyone expects and everyone will hate me because of it? What if I get really rich and what then? What horrible things will happen because of that?
I know what it's like being poor and it's a handy excuse to not do things, I don't know what it's like to be rich and what will I use as an excuse then?
What if I don't like traveling? What if all I remember is the stink and heat and mosquitoes and bedbugs and that someone stole my bag? What if I get some disease that will change the rest of my life?
What if I get all fit and thin and beautiful and fashionable - and no-one treats me any different?
What if they do?
WHAT IF I DON'T FEEL ANY DIFFERENT AFTER HAVING REACHED MY GOALS?!?!
LOL
Yeah... it is silly. And paralyzing fear of unknown.
I mean... I'm still waiting for the outside reward, not the reward of actually doing things.
I ran when I was young because I loved running. I don't run any more, because my condition sucks, it hurts, I get all sweaty and tired and sick, it hurts several days after and doesn't make me any fitter. (Part of fibromyalgia - it's like having a light inflammation all the time, which means that the muscles won't heal and won't build up, so the physical condition won't improve. It's why people who are sick are told not to do any heavy exercises, because they just make things worse.)
Ah. Excuses, excuses.
What if... things change to better and I can handle what ever happens, AS I HAVE BEEN DOING MY WHOLE LIFE. Come on, that's what we do! Everyone alive today has been able to handle what happens. Or most of them. Some people just lie in bed apathetically, shut down, staring at the wall, or sleeping, or trying to sleep. But on the other hand, they are handling what happens, too. Some people go to jail, some people go insane, but they too are handling what happens. Might not be the best way of doing that, but they are handling it. Aren't they?
Most of us are "just living". Most of us don't do anything drastic or extreme.
I am 50 in two years. There's a lot of things that "should" have happened during the first 50 decades of my life that didn't happen. I have never been pregnant. I have never given birth to a child. I don't own a house. I haven't been able to hold a job for more than half a year. I don't speak 10 languages fluently. I am not rich and successful. I don't have a college education. I don't have a best friend with whom I have done a road trip through Europe. I didn't Interrail. I didn't go to space.
The thing is that I don't need to. There's millions of people in the world who didn't.
And the thing is that it's not too late to most of these things... as an author NOTHING is impossible to me. Tove Jansson was never pregnant nor did she give birth, but she created the ultimate mother to many Finnish kids. Moominmamma.:-D And Astrid Lindgren was "mother" to many children.
I think this is another big obstacle. I don't NEED to. I don't have the passion for these things.
I also don't have the focus, determination and tenacity to keep doing the same thing over and over for months, which is needed for mastery. One just needs to look at the regularity of posts in this blog :-D
(I'm sorry about that, but - hey, that's me. If you can't appreciate the gold nuggets I'm spreading because I do that irregularly and rarely, don't. Doesn't bother me at all. Your loss.)
So - the probability of me doing much anything the next 500 days is minimal. I have the potential, I have the knowhow, but I don't have the persistence.
But - I know the problem and I know how to solve it.
The trick of how to stop procrastinating is to stop procrastinating!
The trick of how to persist is to persist.
The trick of how to do anything is TO DO ANYTHING.
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