I had "learn 100 crafts" on my list - when I had quite a lot more than 500 days for this. I started with 100 months... Learning a craft in a month is quite possible, after all, you just need an hour to learn a craft... but to actually make things using that craft technique takes quite a lot more time than that... One month would have been OK, 5 days is not.
Now, I have wanted to make my own BJD for years now, but I just don't dare to start!
I am an artist and an artisan, and I want to have an exhibition of my work. I'm pretty certain of that I want to do this in our home, so I need to prepare the "show room", and then hang the things and see that the visitors stay in the living room and won't wander off to the rest of the house, and hope that someone buys something...
I also need to do the work I'm going to exhibit :-D
Jostain kumman syystä Andrew Langin satukirjoja ei ole ikinä käännetty suomeksi! En edes tiennyt niiden olevan olemassa ennen kuin ne olivat Ruotsissa kirja-alessa.
Olen nyt yrittänyt kääntää niitä sitten 1993. Pitäisi panna tulta hännän alle, helskutti vieköön! On ihan kiinni vain siitä, ettei huvita.
Siinä on yli 400 sivua ja 36 satua, että jos kääntää sadun viikossa, niin on saanut sen käännettyä elokuuksi, joten siinä on neljä kuukautta kustantajalla saada se joulumarkkinoille... tai vuosi, eiköhän ne joulumarkkinakirjat pitäisi olla valmiina jo elokuussa...
Saanko käännettyä ja kuvitettua sadun viikossa? Kyllä.
Ja sitten kun se on tehty, siitä vain punainen, vihreä, keltainen jne.
Olisi kiva jos ne olisi vyön alla kun täytän 60 :-D
Now, this is easy. Just write a list of all the plants I have killed and buy new ones.
But - that is not what I want. I want to keep them alive this time.
The list is:
3 dark red st.Paulias. (African violets.)
Devil's Ivy
Spider plants
Monstera
Dracaena
Snake plant
Prayer plant
Yucca
several fragrance geraniums and 1 old-fashioned black one
2 peace lilies and 1 black one (They say it's impossible to kill these... Ha!)
lemon tree
Avocado
Ivy
Several poinsettias
pink hibiscus
Jade plant
Benjamin ficus, Lyraficus and rubber plant
Flaming kalanchoe
I also want to replace the waxplant, the Amazon lily and the orange tree my mother had, but killed when she got Alzheimer's... she had them some 60 years. The waxplant used to belong to my grandmother... I don't know how many years she had had it.
I also want a cactus tray and a bonzai tree. I am kicking myself for not getting myself one when my husband and I moved here, 20 years ago... I would have a 20 years old bonzai tree now, had I done what I wanted to do... But, I'm a push-over, and he thinks bonzai trees are abuse of trees...
write and illustrate 8 holiday books - one for each Pagan Sabbath
Those are Yule, Imbolc, Ostara, Beltane, Litha, Lammas, Mabon and Samhain.
What I mean with this is a book with beautiful, inspiring photos and drawings, and information about the feast, different feasts around this time of the year, timeline for preparations, different lists the reader can fill themselves (like gift list, address list and cleaning schedule), recipes and everything needed to get the party going. Basically, it's going to be my Holiday Binders put in a handy book form.
I am going to write it all by myself and illustrate it by myself, with my drawings and paintings, and photos. I want to take beautiful photos of my own home decorated, and of my cooking and baking etc. To be able to do this I need to learn to use my camera, and get my home in order for it to look right for these photos.
I will start at Beltane 2018. That is 1st of May. That gives me plenty of time to get everything just right.
There are about 6 1/2 weeks between each Sabbath. If I celebrate them for 1 week, I get 5 weeks to prepare for the next one and 1/2 week to take down all the decorations and stuff.
Now... the minimum is to write and illustrate this - in any way possible. It is OK to take photos from the internet etc. But - I would like to get these published with my own photos, and I would like to learn to take beautiful photos and have my home decorated for all the 8 feasts. I am a witch after all and a Pagan, and I want to celebrate the wheel of the year, by making each Sabbath as big as Christmas is. And if I can entice others to follow my example, great!
Oops... that escalated quickly...
Ok... let's define this... Choose a dance routine and perform this on a video.
I need a partner for swing and tango.
There are adult beginner groups in most dance styles.
I just need to get more flexible, get more fit and lose about half of my weight.
And then it's just to learn.
Oh, and I need tap shoes.
Another "Anything You Can Do I Can Do Too" goal. She called herself a guru.
And why not write a spiritual guide? I'm certain of that I can do as good a job as... er... that person I don't want to mention in my blog, because I don't like that person very much. Interesting little detail here... this person's first book was published when this person was about my age...
Apparently there's a huge market on Amazon for erotic pulp fiction. OK... I can do that. Easily. Nice. I could use 10 grands :-D
(Now, it doesn't quite work that way, I know it. Amazon has changed their rules and payment method and it was easier to do in the past, but - what the heck. I have things on other places that pay me money every now and then, why not a couple of erotic short stories at Kindle?)
"In pulp fiction writing, the first draft is the only draft. Tricks are used to avoid leaving anything unwritten. The main characters are strong in every way so they can force their way past all problems. The action is big too. Keep moving right along. Details aren’t important. Whatever needs to be done, there’s some employee character taking care of it. We don’t need to know the details."
Story. Person A meets person B (or more) and they have sex.
They have sex several times.
It's the best sex ever.
They both (all) get deeply satisfied, can't take any more, multiple orgasms, little death, can't walk for days, bliss.
You need to come up how they get together, how all this sex fits into their ordinary lives, how they move from one sex scene to another and finally how it ends. So - moving into sex - sex - out of sex. There should be some sort of storyline, a plot.
Give them a conflict. Give them a reason why having sex isn't OK. Should
they be doing something else? Are they involved with someone else? The
sex should be different from everyday.
Make them have more sex.
It's erotica, so the story isn't important and the characters aren't important, they are just a frame to sex. What matter is sex. Yes, it's OK to write "fan fiction", just change all the names and any identifiers. It's OK to copy, clone, steal and plagiarize. Anything. Just add sex.
There is the main character who is Everybody and then his/her object, who is mr/ms Perfect. Everybody is average in all EXCEPT SHE/HE IS LIKE CATMINT TO THE OBJECT. The Object is everyone's wet dream.
What do I need to change, then?
1) Different sex style, position, relation, what ever to call it, ways to have sex
2) Different kind of sexy - the hero/heroine could be tall, short, fat, skinny, white, black, green, blue, pear, apple, big, small... beauty comes in many variations
3) Different locale
4) Sexiness that infuses the whole scene, the heroine/hero reek of sex, sexiness, sensuality, they emit invisible signals that make them mad of lust
Now, I am a woman, so it's easier for me to write about sex happening to a woman. The woman isn't extremely beautiful, but she is sexy as hell. There is "something", the mysterious "it" she has, the quality that makes men mad of lust - or not necessary all men, just The Man - and HE is beautiful. He is extremely beautiful. He is a Greek God. He is so handsome he makes you forget to breathe.
Or maybe he has just one amazingly beautiful and attractive feature. Or he has THAT specific feature the heroine finds irresistable. How ever, she wants him and he wants her.
Start the story by presenting the heroine. Drop her in a bucket of unadulterated, raw lust. Give us a reason to believe why she would be having sex every five minutes during the rest of the 3000 words.
Use the first 1000 words to show us how she copes with this lust.
Show us both the hero and heroine in a sexual situation with someone not the other, to show her/his sexual prowess.
Bring the hero and heroine together using action.
Bring in all the other characters as quickly as you can by bringing them in the action.Get her in bed. Or against a wall or under the table or on a park bench.
End the first part of the story with a twist. (End every chapter with a cliffhanger. Make the reader want to know the answer to the question.)
Is it all believable?
Sure, it's just sex, but it should be believable. I mean, it would be quite all right to have the
monster of blue lagoon come up and fetch your heroine to his lair to get
her brains fucked out, but wouldn't she drown? If your reader asks even
one of these questions, the spell breaks. Also, don't give
measurements... say it was huge, don't say it was half a meter long and
she couldn't get her fingers meet when she put her hands around it. That's just disgusting and it kills the lust.
Does your story advance? Have your heroine got laid but left wanting more?
The character doesn't need to grow or change, the milieu is uninteresting, you are not trying to convey an idea or solve a problem, you are describing an event. Sex. This is all that matters. Raw sex. The goal is to get your readers aroused.
NEXT 1000 WORDS
Shovel more lust on your heroine. More sensual encounters, more sexiness, more arousal, more sexual tension, more heat
Your heroine, being heroic, struggles, to manage her arousal, to get sex, and her struggle leads her to bed, once again. (Or against the wall, or...)
And another plot twist at the end of the 1000 words.
Is your story still hot? Have you amped the tension? Is your heroine on the brink of breakdown because she's so horny?
Does the story still make sense? Is it believable?
"When writing, it helps to get at least one minor surprise to the printed page. It is reasonable to to expect these minor surprises to sort of inveigle the reader into keeping on. They need not be such profound efforts. One method of accomplishing one now and then is to be gently misleading. Hero is examining the murder room. The door behind him begins slowly to open. He does not see it. He conducts his examination blissfully. Door eases open, wider and wider, until--surprise! The glass pane falls out of the big window across the room. It must have fallen slowly, and air blowing into the room caused the door to open. Then what the heck made the pane fall so slowly? More mystery."
Characterizing a story actor consists of giving him some things which make her stick in the reader's mind. TAG HER.
BUILD YOUR PLOTS SO THAT ACTION CAN BE CONTINUOUS.
NEXT 1000 WORDS
Shovel more lust on your heroine. More sensual encounters, more sexiness, more arousal, more sexual tension, more heat
Your
heroine, being heroic, struggles, to manage her arousal, to get sex,
and her struggle leads her to bed, once again. (Or against the wall,
or...)
This time it's bad. It's disappointing. All the hopes of amazing sex are broken. But she is still horny.
Add yet another plot twist at the end of the 1000 words.
Is your story still hot? Have you amped the tension? Is your heroine on the brink of breakdown because she's so horny?
Does the story still make sense? Is it believable?
Is it still sexy? Hot? Does it make YOU horny?
Is the heroine so horny by now she wants to die? Is she paying to get laid? Goes to dark alleys in hope of some action?
See that the sex isn't the same all the time, but different in every part of the story. Avoid monotony. How to spice up your sex life? Seven sexiest types of sex you can have
Keep changing the positions, locations, time of the day, partners, number of partners, gender of partners, species of partners, situations where sex happens.
Make it passionate, sensual, teasing.
Get your heroine in places and situations she normally wouldn't go
Surprise her. Let the man pop up unexpectantly just to fuck her because he can't stop himself, he can't stay away
Add competition, new relationships, even some who have nothing to do with sex.
Make him woo her, do something romantic for her, and then ravish her, because fuck romance!
Add props.
Shock, scare, disgust, except that disgust doesn't work, use pleasure instead, sensual expriences, tickle the senses... Astound, amaze, excite, please. Surprise, startle. Shake her, shock her, make her stop, make her confused, mystified, uncertain. Make her stop thinking what she was thinking, make her stop doing what she was doing, cut off the automatic responses and talk to the reptile brain and animal instincts. Make her want you, then give it to her.
ACTION:
Vivid, swift, no words wasted. Create suspense, make the reader see and feel the action.
Suspense: apprehension, tension, eagerness, expectancy, impatience
ATMOSPHERE:
Hear, smell, see, feel and taste.
DESCRIPTION:
Trees, wind, scenery and water.
THE SECRET OF ALL WRITING IS TO MAKE EVERY WORD COUNT.
Last 1000 words
Pour more sexual tension and lust over your heroine. Bury her in sex.
Let her rescue herself from being burned up by her lust by her own skill, ability, ingenuity, talents. So far it's he who has been fucking her, make her fuck him.
Last BIG plot twist
End with a bang, a snapper, a one-liner, a punchline
"Come up with a good punch line referring to the thesis. In some way your ending could connect with the beginning (for example, through the hero of the story). A good ending may be also a short, powerful quote. Good punch line/ending should freeze the reader and put him in motionless state."
"To be remembered, I strongly encourage you to finish your speech with a joke, a pithy phrase, a quote that you want the audience to tuck away in their mind as something memorable. Always leave the audience on an upbeat note."
Is the story steamy to the last drop?
Is it logical, realistic, believable?
Has all questions been answered?
Do you feel good, warm and horny now when the story is finished? Want to go find someone for yourself?
Is the heroine satisfied? (For now...)
No, I do not plan on becoming a GOOD or SUCCESSFUL singer-songwriter, but just to do it. I can make the worst song in the history of mankind, but it's still a song, and I can sing it like a crow, but I have still sang it. :-D The quality of the video doesn't need to be any good, and it's ok no-one ever watches it, or watches it just to leave a mean comment. This is part of teaching myself "done is better than perfect". I don't need to MASTER this to be able to DO it. I just have to DO IT.
What are affirmations? Things you tell yourself.
Your brain is very gullible. It will believe anything you tell it.
The problem is that it hears EVERYTHING you tell it. Most of us tell ourselves "bad" things. "that was stupid, I shouldn't have done that..." "this is not going to work..."
It also hears your tone... Your brain knows when you are being sarcastic and talking "backwards". "I'm SO rich, yeah, sure... SOOOO rich..."
So what does Abiola say on the video?
- emotion - infuse your affirmations with strong, positive emotions. The more joy, excitement, "this is going to be legendary, the BEST EVER!!!" emotion you had about Christmas when a kid or some party or trip with your friends when you were young adult, the more of this kind of positive energy you can pack into your affirmation, the stronger it gets. It's like pushing mints into diet soda.
WOOOOOSH!!!
- soften the affirmation. Your oh so realistic and sensible mind doesn't like all the hype and will try to keep you down, so that you won't get so disappointed. You can trick it by saying "wouldn't it be nice if..." Your sensible mind won't be able to say anything but "Yes, it would be nice."
- afformations - try to trick your brain by asking it "why am I..., why do I always feel so good, why is everything...?" Don't try to answer the question, just ask it. It works because your brain is really, really stupid.
- extended affirmations - affirmations are usually very short. The extended affirmations are several pages long. Read them three times a day; when you wake up, when you go to bed and in the middle of the day. the 10 scrolls from Og Mandino's The Greatest Salesman in the World
"Make a once a month baking show on YouTube; Epic Baking á la boulangère nue, for a year :-D"
I have a dream... to make a baking show on YouTube. Because I am good at baking. But to make an EPIC baking show. I mean monumental, bigger than life, daring, mythological, undaunted, fantastic, awe-inspiring, life changing baking show. I don't have the slightest idea of how to do that, except that it must be bigger, better, harder, tastier, most amazing bakes ever in the history - or future - of mankind. Baking things most people haven't even seen, technically challenging, artistically inspiring, tempting with flavors and textures and smells and everything...
And just because Jamie Oliver wasn't naked and he was seriously surprised to hear that anyone thought he'd be, I'll do it naked. Or almost naked, because when it comes to sex, more is less. Just look at that girl up there. The fact that she is covered with the apron makes you wonder what you'll see when that apron comes off... doesn't it? And you might perhaps just see a glimpse... much more enticing than seeing it all.
And with the passion and sensuality of Nigella Lawson. Yeah... make fun of her, but you have to admit it, she is sexy.
Basically, it is not going to be easy and probably more work than fun; that is, not worth it... this, too, is "anything you can do, I can do better" thing.
Now, there are a couple of things to remember here.
1) there is no time limit (except the 500 days)
2) it's just 1000 dollars. After that I can forget all about it.
3) it just needs to be done, not perfect, not successful, not anything but done
Because to be SUCCESSFUL at Etsy, you need to put in effort, and I am not interested in putting the effort in becoming successful at Etsy.
How One Crafty Mom Earns $70,000 a Month on Etsy
By having people making the stuff she sells. "Not all the items are entirely handmade by Shaffer’s team—many, like the knitted legwarmers, socks, and gloves, are sourced wholesale from India."
I mean... if someone sells 1000 handknit items in a month... she isn't knitting them herself, that's for sure. Let's say it takes 3 hours to knit a headband. You can knit 3-4 every day, considering that you have to do other things as well, like sleep and eat. That means you can produce 150 things in a month, if you do nothing but that... and this seller says she spends 14-18 hours SELLING - not knitting, but doing the paperwork, working on the internet, filling in orders and packaging and posting things. Which means that she knits NOTHING.
Which means that she isn't a "crafty mom". She is a seller.
Now, if she makes 70.000 a month and has a knitter collective, that would give a good salary for 25 people. 25 people can easily produce over 2000 things, all handmade, for real, in a month.
Hmm... I know five people who could be in my artisan collective.
So... what will I sell? What is easiest for me to do?
I can start selling junk journals and recycled journals and albums, and I can even offer free shipping from Sweden to all over the world with the prices people are paying for these things.
So - this includes
underwear - for him it's practically sewing knits, for me it's making bras and corsets
sleepwear, dressing gown, slippers, bed jacket
stockings and socks
sewing pants, shirts, dresses, skirts...
making three piece suits - bespoke tailoring
outwear, jackets, coats, etc.
hats
gloves
bags
"Learn to do make-up and wear different make-up (normal and FX kind) in your 365 self portrait challenge photos"
Now... it would, of course, be nice to be an Oscar winning makeup artist. But that's not where my life is heading. I want to learn to apply makeup ON MYSELF. Yes, I am 48 and don't know how to apply make-up. So? I am very sensitive, so my eyes and skin reacts on practically EVERYTHING, and so far it has been more problems than gain to try to find products that work on me, to be able to actually learn to apply make-up. But - I want to learn.
I also want to learn to make prosthetics and such.
I suppose it's just to pick up a tutorial on YouTube and follow the instructions, just like with every other skill...
I also assume I need to start working on making the surface good, that is taking care of my skin. :-D
Now... this is kind of... nothing to do with my hubby, because he doesn't like that kind of things. It's because I want to see if "anything you can do I can do better" (or at least as well).
So, how to do this?
I don't see much difficulties with this, it's just like any other photoshoot. You set it up, you take photos, et voilà.
Now, I can think of making a calendar for my hubby. He doesn't like this kind of things, but he likes me, and if I take beautiful photos, he'll like them.
Now... they suggest that people who want their boudoir photos taken
- see that their hair is dyed etc. at least a couple of days earlier if they want this
- that their make-up is done and perfect
- that their hands are manicured and nails polished
- that their skin is as smooth as it can be, meaning exfoliated, oiled and hairless...
And that is something I'm having some problems with... I have to choose if I want to look as much as a normal pin up as I can, or if I want to look like me. With my hairy legs and no make-up...
And will I do this BEFORE I lose the weight or after? Or during?
1) set up a 365 blog
2) choose the photos you want to take. You don't need to decide all 365 now, but it would be good if you have at least 200 ideas ready so that when the day arrives you don't feel like it, it is already prepared and all you need to do is to snap a photo.
3) if you plan on doing special things, see that you have everything needed for these special things.
Like make-up, clothes, wigs, horns, special effect make-up and masks, mirrors and other props, photoshoot locations etc. etc.
4) learn to use your camera, learn to take self-portraits, to use the remote control and timer, to use the video camera
5) try to do more than the absolute necessary to have self-portraits to be posted the days you can't take a photo or post it. Have at least a month worth of posts prepared so that your streak won't break. (Now, this is not a "do something every day" project, it's "take 365 self portraits". You can take all of them one day, or take 7 every week, or 31 every month, or 100 this month and 3 that month... just as long as you take 365 photos and post them in a blog so that there is a post every day of the year. Yes, the original 365 blogging project doesn't even require that, just that there are 365 blog posts... it can take you several years to get that done, but I want to do it "1 post every day".)
There really are no shortcuts. We all know what needs to happen. Eat less, move more. It really is that simple.
Now, MTV had a show, I Used to Be Fat, and in the second episode 2011 there was Marci Levine who lost a pound a day. In 90 days. This is how she did it:
During the show diet
1200 kcal a day
Breakfast - oatmeal and egg whites
Lunch - grilled chicken green vegetables
Dinner - low calorie soup or salad
Workout: 4-8 hours of bootcamp drills and football drills
So... nothing stops you. Go ahead. If you work as hard and are honest about it, you can do the same.
Well... maybe not a pound a day, because Marci was 16 and had the benefit of a personal trainer, who was there to push her to do those 4-8 hours in safe environment. But if you follow this diet and exercise regime, you will lose weight.
I am, too, 250 pounds heavy, and I want to weigh less than 70 kilos to my 50th birthday. I have been getting heavier and heavier the last 20 years, and I don't want to be this heavy. It makes my life unnecessary hard.
I have calculated that if I lose a kilo every 10 days, I will reach the goal. That is a reasonable, realistic goal. (More so than pound a day :-D). But, sure, it would be nice to get there quicker...
Though I'm 48 and my skin has NEVER been very elastic... I probably end with hanging skin and nasty stretchmarks and all that, and it won't feel very nice, because OF COURSE I want to get skinny because of the societal expectations, pressure and beauty ideals! I will NEVER look like a 16 years old, but perhaps I will be light when I'm 50 and able to move the way I moved when I was 16... get rid of the fibro pains and that...
This (Armin Dahl and John Ciampa, not from the 30s but from the 50s, stuntmen)... and Georges Hébert... makes my heart sing.
"The senior Belle had trained using Hebert’s methode naturelle whilst in the French military. Hebert’s methods were inspired by the natural, physical conditioning of indigenous peoples from Africa in particular, and this is still noticeable in the practise of modern parkour; many practitioners talk of the importance of freeing one’s natural instincts, of stripping away conditioning and returning to an innate, effortless way of moving that utilises the entire body as a whole rather than consciously employing isolated muscle groups. The elusive ‘flow state’." Parkour history
So, why? It makes my heart sing. It makes my eyes shine. I could watch people do this kind of things hours... and I want to join them. I want to do that. I want to be there. I want to run free and enjoy my body's movements... This is heaven.
How?
This is why I want my physical condition back. This is why I want to be flexible. This is why I want to be able to do 100 pushups and 20 pullups. And more after that, but that's a good start.This is why I want to be able to run 5K, and after that, more. I want to be able to run for hours, while climbing and jumping and swimming and vaulting and leaping and... flying.
Now, for Parkour I'll be training the basics as my 1 minute, rolling, falling, landing, and basic jumps, and growing the other abilities for themselves, until I'm there. Then it will be All Parkour All The Time... :-D
Cue... hmm... This isn't something that just flows, like my morning routine. I have that routine in place already, so I don't need the cues and such. But with this I do... I think I'm going to put it in the middle of my condition building... My 5K will be in the forest, so I can take a minute in the middle of the forest to roll and climb rocks and trees and jump down and land. Then I will also be warmed up. But this will happen when I'm doing the 5K.
Reward. I think I might need something for this, too... simply because the enorm physical reward of actually doing this is a bit too far in the future. I'll have to think about that, I'm so conditioned to reward myself with sugar.
So, why?
Flexibility, sexiness, I like the movement, it improves balance and reach, it's good for future endeavors.
And it might actually have some psychological effect as well... like spiritual, calming down etc.
Visualising?
Simplifying?
I have already a morning exercise sequence. I have been doing that on and off since I was 10 or so.
1) rubberband - lying on my back on the bed I stretch first one side arm and leg as far as I can, then the other
2) Pilates pelvic clock
3) I roll over on my stomach and lift slightly my right arm and left leg, and then the opposite ones, and repeat this cross 10 times. I think it's called "swimming"
4) Cat stretches - I start with cobra, move on to child, chest on floor and bottom up, downward dog, cat and cow stretches, and finish with pushing my legs back one at a time, while pushing my chin to my chest. Yeah... I was copying our cats. I didn't know the names in yoga-talk or anything, I just copied the cats :-D
5) then I just get on my feet, hands still on the floor, and then I get up, rolling my back straight slowly and easily.
So, now I have added the split stretch to this - I do it after the pelvic clock. I lift my knees up, then take one leg and pull it bend to my chest, then I start straightening it, trying to get my leg to my face.
Now, I need to add a couple more things to this, even though this already is enough for me to say I do yoga :-D
1) lunges and pigeon
2) wide leg stretches
When I was 15, I did 3200 meters in Cooper test... my physical condition was almost as good as it could be. (Yeah, almost... I was a bit rusty... I was better younger.)
That's a professional athlete level fitness, there...
(For Americans, that 2 miles in 12 minutes. To get perfect score in Army PFT Two Mile Run, you need to run 2 miles in less than 13 minutes.)
So - let's start with making me able to run a mile :-D (Yeah, that's how bad my condition is now)
I think C25K will take care of that.
Now, my biggest problem is that my health isn't that good, and it has caused me to slack too much, so I'm practically a very very beginner. I can't run even 10 seconds, not to talk about 60! I can't do this program, so I need to start with something less demanding.
Here's C25K WALKING program. It takes you from walking 15 minutes a day to walking 5K in less than an hour in 8 weeks.
You CAN do that, how ever bad your fitness is. Because it doesn't matter how far you walk during the 15 minutes.
Important thing to remember here is that you don't move on to week 2 after 7 days, you do that when you can comfortably do week 1 (you go out and walk 15 minutes 5 days a week Speed, distance doesn't matter, the first week is to get you out walking. If it's just around the house, that's good.), and so on. You don't have to move faster than you can, AND YOU SHOULDN'T EITHER.
Some tips:
- do it your way. Some people like company, some appreciate the solitude. Some like to listen to music while they run, some podcasts or audiobooks, some silence and their own thoughts. Some like to run in city, some in the countryside. Find your preferences. All is good.
- listen to your body. Aching muscles is OK, just stretch gently and take a warm bath after running, be nice to yourself. Pain is not OK. If running hurts, there's something wrong and you must stop immediately and take care of what ever it is. It can be something simple that can be dealt with by relacing your running shoes - or buying a new pair, because the old doesn't support any more or never supported your specific running style, but there are cases where you really need to go see a doctor and heal, because something is broken.
- get a substitute exercise for those days you can't run. You might be traveling, the weather might not work (don't go running in a hurricane, how ever much you "have decided", OK?), you might be sick or injured. Dancing is a good alternative if you are healthy, or a heavy aerobics session with jumping.
If you are sick, though, be careful.
If you have fever, don't exercise, because it will rise your body temperature even higher and that can damage your body.
If you have problems with breathing, your lungs hurt, you are coughing, don't run. It's ok to do things like yoga and lift weights, things that happen in slow, easy pace, that doesn't make you breathe harder. Pilates is a good alternative, because it is surprising hard for muscles without being hard on your breathing.
If you are injured, you should follow your physician's advice and let the injured part heal properly before you start expecting it to function as it used to.
This, too, has a training schedule made for you, what ever is your initial level
Here's more information, about how to do it easier, and how to do it harder, and what is the correct form and how to do it without hurting yourself or anyone else. Yes, there is that risk. Some people...
Why I want this? I have always had bad upper body strength, my strength has been my core and legs. Arms are like wet noodle or tights filled with porridge :-D Sort of there to keep balance :-D
Now, push-ups have always been some sort of fitness measure. I would like to have nice arms... less flab.
It is also necessary for further adventures I plan for me :-)
Visualising... now... I don't really now... all I can think of is to just do it.
Simplifying: Training program is already created! All you need to do is DO IT!
Now, here's some pre-training, to get you making it in good form. The form is really more important than if you can do it on one finger.
Keep
your arms straight so that your hands are aligned with your shoulders.
Tighten up the muscles of your body; especially tummy and bottom. Keep
your body straight from top of your head to the lever point - feet or
knees. Don't let your chest or tummy drop, don't push your buttocks up,
don't swank or curve your back, don't tense your neck or shoulders,
don't push your elbows out. If your core isn't strong enough, build your
core, too, and do the push-ups against a wall to begin with.
Here's some more information, like what you can do AFTER you manage 100 regular pushups easily. :-)
So - you can make 10 pushups in a minute. SO that's that.
Cue: I'll do it in the morning on my way to the bathroom - or on my way from bathroom
Reward? Nah. Having done it and getting nice arms is reward enough. This isn't really hard to do, so I don't need more rewards. Besides, I like to reward myself with food... I really need to work on the reward system...
They say some people can't do the splits. Perhaps. But I can't believe there are any people with normally formed pelvis and legs, no injuries that have damaged this area of one's body, etc. who can't. I most certainly will be able to.
Let's see why I want to be able to do the splits.
1) it's sexy. Yeah... I have some problems with this area in life I need to fix, but - as it is now, being sexy is important to me. I don't think I will ever be, though, because I have Asperger's, but... well... so does Daryl Hannah, and she is sure seen as sexy. So, perhaps.
2) I love to the feeling of extending my body as far as it goes.
3) There are things on my list that are helped with this ability, like martial arts and using my feet as hands.
Visualising...
I will be able to do the book reading Lise part of this clip.
It starts with some barre moves by the table, then she curls on the
table and does the splits, one hand cartwheel and finishes in a split to
the wall.
I don't know where and when I would do that... perhaps just because I can. :-D That's a very good reason to do things, actually :-D
Simplifying
- to be able to do the splits, one must do the splits. It won't happen at first, but with stretching and training, a little every day, it will happen. So the smallest thing to do is to stretch a little every day.
The smallest amount of stretching is to do this:
To begin, keep your lower leg bend.
If
I feel like doing more, I can add the wide-leg hamstring stretch
sitting down, the way Jane Fonda does it in her Aerobics book.
(Sit on the floor, legs stretch before you. Bend your chest to your knees. Try to get as far down as you comfortably can. Keep the stretch for 10 seconds. Spread your legs, as far as you comfortably can. Bend your chest to one knee, keep the stretch. Walk your chest to the other knee, on your arms, stretching down with every step. Bend your chest to the other knee, keep the stretch. Spread your legs a little bit more and repeat. Don't jerk. Do the stretching gently and comfortably. You can rock a little, but it's better to just rest in the stretch.)
And if I feel like doing more, there are several different stretches one can do.
Cue: As part of my morning exercise routine. I do a little stretching and yoga and core things. My routine is from Anita Colby's Beauty Book.
Reward? The feeling of having done something, and then the feeling of having a body that moves
So - as I have wasted the 501 days to make this "101 things in 1001 days", I'll do a semi-challenge. 50 things in 500 days. The timeline is still realistic and challenging, and if I just learn to do this, I will have learned a very good skill AND will be able to strike out a lot of things from my Bucket List.
101 things in 1001 days was a challenge created by some unknown person around 2000. From a mention on some blog somewhere it grew out to be a community of likeminded people, and now there's a site called Day Zero Project. (Now, if this blog post inspires you to go there, please tell me, so that I can add that goal ("inspire someone to take on 101 things in 1001 days") to my list... yeah... "got to collect them all", huh? Yes, I have a bit of an over-achiever in me. Hence this blog :-D)
The guidelines are:
The Mission: Complete 101 preset tasks in a period of 1001 days.
The Criteria: Tasks must be specific (ie. no ambiguity in the wording) with a result that is either measurable or clearly defined. Tasks must also be realistic and stretching (ie. represent some amount of work on my part).
Why 1001 Days?
Many people have created lists in the past — frequently simple goals such as new year’s resolutions. The key to beating procrastination is to set a deadline that is realistic. 1001 Days (about 2.75 years) is a better period of time than a year, because it allows you several seasons to complete the tasks, which is better for organizing and timing some tasks such as overseas trips or outdoor activities.
Goal Setting Tips
1. Be decisive. Know exactly what you want, why you want it, and how you plan to achieve it.
2. Stay focussed. Any goal requires sustained focus from beginning to end. Constantly evaluate your progress.
3. Welcome failure. Frequently, very little is learned from a venture that did not experience failure in some form. Failure presents the opportunity to learn and makes the success more worthy.
4. Write down your goals. It clarifies your thinking and reinforces your commitment.
5. Keep your goals in sight. Review them frequently, and ensure that they are always at the forefront of your thinking.
* these are quite a big things, which cannot be done in a day or a week - which means that you need to plan; divide the goal into steps and then treat the steps as smaller goals. You can't learn this whole thing in one day, you can't finish this project in one day, but what can you do in one day?
It's like NaNoWriMo. The goal is to write 50.000 words. It's very hard to write 50.000 words in a day (possible, though. You just have to write 2350 words every hour for 21 hours. If you write as fast as I do, it takes you 50 minutes and you can use the 10 minutes to stretch and eat and go smoke a cigarette if you do things like that. Take a cup of coffee. I wouldn't recommend this, but it is possible.) but if you divide it into 1600 words a day bits, and then divide the 1600 words a day into 200 words in an hour, 8 hours, and suddenly you have a really easy goal in your hands. It's not even difficult to write 200 words, it takes five minutes! But if you do this 8 times a day, 30 days, you'll end up having a 50.000 words manuscript in your hands in a month! Wow! With not much work at all!
So - if the goal is to... grow your hair long... that's really easy, because you just have to do nothing. Don't cut your hair, and it will grow. :-D But also, you might need to take care of your hair while it grows, nourish your body to make your hair grow more, massage your scalp and oil your hair to keep it from splitting and so on and so forth. And this needs to become a daily routine. All in all it's a pretty simple thing to do, you just need to write in daily massage and weekly oiling in your calender, and then remember to do it.
If the goal is to learn a language, one way of doing it is to estimate the amount of words and phrases one needs to be able to use the language to the purpose why one wants to learn the language, and then divide that amount (let's say it's 20.000 words in 500 days - that's 40 words a day. That's not a problem. Now, if you put those words in sentences, and learn a block of text where 40 words are being used (you know, the first day it's "this is Jack and this is Jill, this is Ann and this is Bill" - quote from my first English lesson :-D Yeah, it was 41 years ago and I still remember it :-D The last day it might be "Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious! Even though the sound of it Is something quite atrocious If you say it loud enough You'll always sound precocious". I dare to say you know your language by then well enough to read books written in the language and that's all anyone needs to master the language. And that by learning only 40 words!
If the goal is to be able to do 20 pullups - the program is built on the same principle. You start with what you have, learn the right technique, and then just add pullups according to your ability until you manage 20 pullups. If the goal is to be able to run 5K, you start with one step. Then you take two steps, and three and do more and more and faster and faster until you run your 5000-6000 steps. You can take that one step right now.
If the goal is to lose weight, you do that the same way. One kilo at a time. Now, losing weight is easy, keeping it off is not. You have to change your lifestyle, eating habits and mindset, stop seeing yourself as a fat person and start living like a skinny person. Nevertheless, that too is "one step at a time, one tiny change, 100 grams less every day". In 500 days that will amount to 50 kilos. (Frankly, that's the way you got the extraweight, too. Just a little every day.)
If the goal is to learn a new skill, the same principle applies. Learn how to hold the guitar properly so that you reach the strings and manage to put the fingers in right places to apply necessary amount of pressure. Then you will learn a note at a time, an accord at a time, until you know them all, and reach the necessary speed to be able to play the guitar. After that it's just practice, practice, practice...
The secret to success is TO DO SOMETHING EVERY DAY. The first sign of that you have problems is "uh, I don't feel like writing my 200 words, I don't feel like learning my 40 words today". If you decide to put it till tomorrow, you are failing. Yes, it is easy, and that's the thing with it. Just put in the fifteen minutes and get it done, and then you can do what ever you want for the rest of the day.
This is why "pomodoro" technique works. Just give it 15 minutes, then you can stop, and don't need to think about it. If you can't write 200 words in 15 minutes, then you write what you can write. If you can't learn your 40 words, you learn what you can. One sentence is enough. If you don't feel like running today, go for a shorter walk. BUT DO NOT SKIP IT, DON'T PUSH IT FORWARD, DON'T "DO IT LATER". If you don't feel like doing it, do it and get it done so that you can forget it.
"Be diligent. One big advantage of breaking it down into short term goals is to make sure you’re making progress all the way along. Don’t fluff it off because it seems far away – do whatever you need to do to keep the goal immediate."
Another thing to do to help yourself to success is to make it as automatic as you can. Make it a routine. Make it a habit.
Learn to compress your time. In Barry Farber's "How To Learn Any Language", he tells you to write your words into flashcards and have a pile of these with you all the time, so that you can take advantace of the waiting time etc. When you are standing in a queue - study the flashcards. When you are waiting for the traffic lights to turn, study the cards. When ever you can, study the cards.
In a yoga book I read once, the writer told us to do small yoga things like this. There is a posture called "lion", where the person stucks out one's tongue as much out as one can, and she suggested you do this while you wait for the lights to turn... :-D
In another language learning source they were talking about this man who taped Chinese signs on his mirror to learn them while he was brushing his teeth and shaving in the morning. I used to do my barre exercises while I was brushing my teeth.
A lot of people read something while they do their #2. I have a chart on the wall in front of the toilet seat so that I can memorize things, like numbers in Russian or morse code. People use the toilet several times a day, and do nothing that requires much use of brains. :-D
I read once a tip to SAHMs - to take the kids' things from where they don't belong to where they belong while one moves from one room to another doing other things. That is, your child forgot his notebook in the kitchen. You take it with you when you go from kitchen to the toilet, and leave it on the hallway table. Then you took it with you when you take the laundry up to his room.
Also, if you add cleaning the toilet to your #2 routines, and cleaning the sink to your teethbrushing habit, you won't need to clean the toilet often to have it clean. Just like washing dishes after you have eaten, cleaning the stove after you cooked, I mean... we did this in school in home economics class. We cleaned the work area so that it was clean for the next one who used it. I used to clean up my desk every night after work so that it was clean and tidy and nice for the next day. When I was little, we were to wash the bathtub after bath so that it was clean for the next user. We were 8 in the family. The "dirt" was "fresh", so it didn't take much, but the tub was always clean. It really is five more minutes here and there, and the only "cleaning" one must do is to vacuum the home every now and then. And that's also a breeze when the home is tidy and clean.
In another book I read they suggested that one exercises while cleaning, or cleans while exercising. Washing the floors crawling on the floor is excellent exercise for stomach and back.
I read while I eat. I read while I cook something I know how to cook, but that involves some waiting. Like frying pancakes. Yes, the books get grubby, but I read paperbacks and other such things that I don't mind getting greasy and stained.
I listened to music while I was running. One could listen to audiobooks, lectures, podcasts, a lot of things while running.
There are things where mindfulness is a great thing, and then there are things where one can easily do several things at the same time.
Also, mark your progression. Have a countdown calendar, tick off "to do list", record your steps and review your path.
1. Do the splits - back, front, side
2. Do 100 pushup challenge
3. Do 20 pullups challenge
4. Do C25K challenge
5. Run 3K in 12 minutes
6. Do yoga every day for a month
7. Do taichi every day for a month
8. Start Parkour
9. Weigh less than 70 kg on my 50th birthday 10. Learn to throw ball 11. Learn to use my feet as well as my hands 12. learn to dance 10 different dances and make a video of myself dancing them 13. Learn to juggle 14. Learn hulahoop
15. Do a 365 self portrait challenge 16. Do a glamour photoshoot for my husband 17. Make a movie
18. Make a complete wardrobe (clothes, accessories from shoes to hats, underwear) for both me and my husband
19. Make 12 DIY tutorials on YouTube 20. Make 1000 dollars at Etsy 21. Learn to do make-up and wear different make-up (normal and FX kind) in your 365 self portrait challenge photos 22. Have an arts and crafts exhibition 23.Make a BJD
24. write an erotic novel 25. write and illustrate 8 holiday books - one for each Pagan Sabbath 26. write a spiritual guide 27. translate Il Fiddien and have it published 28. translate and illustrate the Blue Fairy Book in Finnish
29. Learn to play a song with guitar and post it on YouTube 30. Learn to play a song with violin and post it on YouTube 31. Learn to play a song with piano and post it on YouTube 32. Learn to play a song with recorder and post it on YouTube 33. write a song and sing it in public
34. Read a book in French 35. Read a book in German
36. Make sausage and serve on a dinner 37. Bake through the Daring Bakers' list 38. Learn to brew cider 39. Make 10 different kinds of jams and jellies summer-autumn 2018 40. Make a once a month baking show on YouTube; Epic Baking à la boulangère nue, for a year :-D 41. Make handpulled noodles for a dinner
42. replace all the houseplants I have killed in my life... 43. get debt free 44. Take Hanne and Emma for a roadtrip through Europe 45. Live as fruitarian for a month 46. Learn to do 10 card tricks and 10 coin tricks 47. Learn CPR and first aid 48. Record all the books I have ever read in a reading journal 49. Become a mentalist 50. Celebrate your 50th birthday in a nice country place in style
I remember that day when I realized it was 100 months to my 50th birthday, and that would give me 2 months for each goal on my "50 before 50" list... Now it's 500 days. 10 days to each...
I don't think I have done anything :-D
No, it's not a laughing matter, but it's better to laugh than cry.
The Bucket List is there, not to create expectations and stress, but to give us the necessary structure to get things done.
I started this blog to help me help myself by helping others, because when I look at other people's lists, I can see how easily manageable they are! Yet my own...
One of my biggest obstacles is fear of success. What is going to happen if I succeed? What if what I expect to happen won't happen?
I mean... as long as I don't write the book, I don't need to care if it won't get published. Or it will get published but no-one buys it. Or everyone buys it, and then I have to write another book? What if I can't? Or what if I can and then I have to write a third book and fourth and there's always the seventh book that takes 10 times longer than everyone expects and everyone will hate me because of it? What if I get really rich and what then? What horrible things will happen because of that?
I know what it's like being poor and it's a handy excuse to not do things, I don't know what it's like to be rich and what will I use as an excuse then?
What if I don't like traveling? What if all I remember is the stink and heat and mosquitoes and bedbugs and that someone stole my bag? What if I get some disease that will change the rest of my life?
What if I get all fit and thin and beautiful and fashionable - and no-one treats me any different?
What if they do?
WHAT IF I DON'T FEEL ANY DIFFERENT AFTER HAVING REACHED MY GOALS?!?!
LOL
Yeah... it is silly. And paralyzing fear of unknown.
I mean... I'm still waiting for the outside reward, not the reward of actually doing things.
I ran when I was young because I loved running. I don't run any more, because my condition sucks, it hurts, I get all sweaty and tired and sick, it hurts several days after and doesn't make me any fitter. (Part of fibromyalgia - it's like having a light inflammation all the time, which means that the muscles won't heal and won't build up, so the physical condition won't improve. It's why people who are sick are told not to do any heavy exercises, because they just make things worse.)
Ah. Excuses, excuses.
What if... things change to better and I can handle what ever happens, AS I HAVE BEEN DOING MY WHOLE LIFE. Come on, that's what we do! Everyone alive today has been able to handle what happens. Or most of them. Some people just lie in bed apathetically, shut down, staring at the wall, or sleeping, or trying to sleep. But on the other hand, they are handling what happens, too. Some people go to jail, some people go insane, but they too are handling what happens. Might not be the best way of doing that, but they are handling it. Aren't they?
Most of us are "just living". Most of us don't do anything drastic or extreme.
I am 50 in two years. There's a lot of things that "should" have happened during the first 50 decades of my life that didn't happen. I have never been pregnant. I have never given birth to a child. I don't own a house. I haven't been able to hold a job for more than half a year. I don't speak 10 languages fluently. I am not rich and successful. I don't have a college education. I don't have a best friend with whom I have done a road trip through Europe. I didn't Interrail. I didn't go to space.
The thing is that I don't need to. There's millions of people in the world who didn't.
And the thing is that it's not too late to most of these things... as an author NOTHING is impossible to me. Tove Jansson was never pregnant nor did she give birth, but she created the ultimate mother to many Finnish kids. Moominmamma.:-D And Astrid Lindgren was "mother" to many children.
I think this is another big obstacle. I don't NEED to. I don't have the passion for these things.
I also don't have the focus, determination and tenacity to keep doing the same thing over and over for months, which is needed for mastery. One just needs to look at the regularity of posts in this blog :-D
(I'm sorry about that, but - hey, that's me. If you can't appreciate the gold nuggets I'm spreading because I do that irregularly and rarely, don't. Doesn't bother me at all. Your loss.)
So - the probability of me doing much anything the next 500 days is minimal. I have the potential, I have the knowhow, but I don't have the persistence.
But - I know the problem and I know how to solve it.
The trick of how to stop procrastinating is to stop procrastinating!
The trick of how to persist is to persist.
The trick of how to do anything is TO DO ANYTHING.
"Willpower" is basically BS, but it's BS most people believe in. Even people who have been studying these things.
So... what makes me think I know it better than people who have been studying it?
I am one of the people who has problems with "willpower" or the "lack of it", and I have overcome these problems, and I know it has nothing to do with any of that stuff people say.
It really is just an excuse. You say it and your brain accepts it as a fact and makes your body obey. So you think it is a fact. Now, if you start telling yourself that you have all the willpower ever needed to do ANYTHING, your brain will accept that as a fact and will make your body obey. And suddenly you HAVE all the "willpower". It is because there is no such thing as willpower. It's all an illusion, an idea.
It's like "Do. Or do not. There is no try."
Do, or do not. You have already made the decision. Your brain is already preparing your body and mind to do what you decided.
So to overcome your "lack of willpower", you need to make the decision before you NEED to make the decision, and rob yourself any options.
Yes, you want to lose weight.
Yes, you want to nourish your body with nutritious, delicious food.
Yes, you want to go out for a run.
OK, so you don't want to go out today. You don't need to. After the run.
Because not going for a run is not an option. You don't have that choice. Don't start lying to yourself about that. You don't have that choice. You have already decided you want to go for a run. Sorry, you should have thought that when you made the decision, it's too late to change your mind now. When you have reached your goal, then you can make a new decision, but what is your goal? To get fit? To lose weight? To run every morning? If it's the last one... Oops.
No, you don't want that piece of cake. You have already decided that, when you decided to start eating well. You don't want to eat anything, because you are not hungry.
Now... it's totally OK to change your goals, but if you have decided
for the last 20 years to lose that 20 pounds and you just keep changing
your decision all the time, until next time you pick the same goal
again.... it's time you stop lying to yourself. You don't want to lose that 20 pounds. You want something else. Find out what that is.
Perhaps you want to get nice clothes and they don't exist in your size? Then I suggest you learn to sew clothes. Perhaps you want to get a new bikini and go to a beach? You can. Right now. They make bikinis in many sizes.
You want to look nice? You do. There will always be people thinking you look horrible. But there will also always be people thinking you look nice. (You better be one of them.) And most people won't be thinking about your looks at all.
Besides, it doesn't matter.
It's not a beauty contest.
There are no laws against "ugly people in public", even though some a-holes would like that.
You have the same right to enjoy public places, beaches, restaurants and everything as everyone else.
Your looks are not your best quality any way, nor do they matter much. You have plenty of wonderful qualities, you don't need to look like a photoshopped teenager, too.
If someone says something nasty to you about how you look, you can always answer "If you don't like the look of me, don't look at me." Any further comment is to be brushed away with "not my problem". And then try to remember that yourself. It's not your problem if someone doesn't like the way you - or anyone - looks. You don't get to decide what they look at, and if someone wants to look at ugly things - it's their business. I'd much prefer to look at pretty things, but - who am I to judge? And who are they to judge your looks? If you were participating in some sort of beauty contest, then, yes, but you aren't. You are just participating in life, and looks are not even on the list of qualities to be judged. You don't owe anyone to look nice. You don't owe it to yourself nor to your lover, why would you owe it to a total stranger? On top of that, a stranger with no manners and nasty personality? Does anyone owe ANYTHING to people like that? I don't think so.
Maybe you want to have friends? Your weight is irrelevant. Maybe you want certain hobbies? Your weight is irrelevant. Unless there is a weight limit. There is no weight limit to most sports or any other hobbies, so are you sure there is one in your chose one? Maybe you want to not be teased, harassed, called names, bullied? That... unfortunately, no-one can avoid that. We live in a culture with very little compassion and kindness. People think they are entitled to criticize their fellow human beings, of any reason, and they do. It is seen as witty, and people who react are seen as weak and over-sensitive people, who "need to toughen up, get a thicker skin". Yep, more BS. Sensitivity is a beautiful quality. People who expect a silk dress to endure what a heavy-duty overall does, are idiots. Sensitive people are silk dresses or cashmere sweaters, hard people are heavy-duty overalls and firemen rocks. There is time and place for both of these, but they are not the same. Yet, when it comes to people, the culture somehow expects everyone to be Kevlar. And then they wonder why there is so little kindness, consideration, care and love in the society...
There is only one thing you can do about bullying.
Remember that they don't define you, they define themselves. It is not so that people are kind to you, because you are kind to them. They are kind to you because they are kind people. Bullies bully because they are bullies, not because you deserve to be bullied. You don't get to choose how they react, what they do or say, you don't have that kind of control over them. They are not helpless victims of your magical influence that somehow forces them to bully you. Remember all those dog-owners who reacted on the "men can't help raping" BS? "If my dog won't touch a piece of meat on the floor in front of it, because I said "no", then a man should be able to not touch a woman because she said "no" - or didn't say "yes". A human being should be able to not bully a person they know they can bully. It's not the victim's fault he/she is bullied. It is 100% the bully's fault.
And remember that these people are doing the best they know how. Bullying is a reaction of fear. Yep... people who bully you are afraid of you. Your mere existence is a threat to their status, their position. Just look at people who bully - there's always some sort of strength, power. Either they are popular, and their victim is not, which gives them the power of numbers and support, or they are physically strong, and their victim is not. The bullied ones, they are either the smart ones, the bookish boys, who aren't that strong and physically able to defend themselves, but everyone knows they are smarter than the bullies, and that is really scary. What if people start to appreciate smartness over muscles? What will these bullies have left? Nothing. Or the bullied ones are those who are different. In a society where the looks are everything, people being different are saying "I don't care about the limitations put on by the society, I look as I please, not to please you". And that is a challenge. These people have to be "put in their place", made to "realize how wrong it is to be different", because "different" people are not sheep. "Different" people are not followers. It's hard to control and manipulate "different" people. And this is also the reason to why so few adults support and protect the bullied ones. They are also just people, and think the same way. The age doesn't really matter, this happens everywhere, from kindergarten to old people's homes.
So - now that you know why these people are saying those nasty things to you, maybe you could have some pity to them. It's really hard to be afraid of someone you pity. It's also really hard to get hurt by what they say. You know their mouths are just moving and they are spouting their own fear and pain and anger, it just doesn't mean anything. They are just trying to deal with all those feelings and they do it the best they can. They haven't been taught to do it in any other way. They are being rewarded for doing it this way. They think it's right. Poor buggers.
And a fat woman comfortable with her weight and looks is really damn scary... she threatens the whole structure of the society! A woman who cannot be controlled, manipulated and diverted by making her ashamed of not looking "right", and focusing all her efforts to that! A woman who thinks she has other qualities than the patriarchal reproductive ones! (healthy, young, fertile, child-bearing hips, nursing breasts...). A person who says "I know what you think of me, but I don't care". That's about as scary as it gets!
I don't know why you want to lose weight. But you do. Find out, and maybe it's THAT what you want, and not the actual weightloss. (Also, you probably will lose weight when you get THAT. People are mysterious creatures...)
Also, if you want to, let's say, try bungee jumping, and there is a weight limit, then you either try to find a way to bungee jump without weight limit, or lose the weight, and if it doesn't matter how to lose weight, I sincerely suggest you stop eating unless you reach your goal weight.
FASTING IS NOT A HEALTHY WAY OF LOSING WEIGHT AND SHOULDN'T BE USED LIGHTLY.
One should not do this unless your BMI is over 30, or longer than a week if it's under 30.
No need to think about what to eat, just eat nothing. The permanent damage caused by starving will start only after one's body has used all the fat there is, and reaching a normal adult weight limit will not get you there.
Just remember to drink, though. Water is absolutely necessary, but it would be good to drink milk, too. It is very nice package of nutrients body needs, like calcium for bones, lactose to keep your brain in working condition and many minerals and vitamins, but if you have problems with milk, try to replace it with something nutritionally equal.
Gurgle with sugar water (remember to spit it out) when you are hungry.
You might get problems with your bowels, but this is not permanent. (It's very likely you have problems with your bowels if your BMI is over 30).You will be able to eat so that your bowels get in good shape pretty quickly after you stop your fasting (and I also suggest you do that.).
Also, you need to keep moving, to see that your body doesn't use the muscles to feed itself, but the fat.
Human beings are made to store fat to feed upon during starvation. Let your body do its thing.
But, and I really can't say this too often, THIS IS A DANGEROUS WAY OF LOSING WEIGHT, DON'T DO IT UNLESS YOU REALLY CAN'T DO IT IN ANY OTHER WAY, BUT REALLY NEED TO.
It WILL fuck up your head.
You WILL have to fix the problems caused by it, and it WILL cause problems.
If you want to lose weight in a healthy, sane and permanent manner, there are ways to do that. Basically eat less, move more. If you just skip sugar (and sweeteners) and refined wheat, and add veggies, and take a walk every day, you will lose weight until you reach a healthy weight. You don't need to count calories or think what you eat, where, when, why or how much.
Appreciate the finer things in life. Gradually change everything you have into finer things. Learn to recognize quality, and always choose quality over quantity. If you can't afford anything fine at the moment, have nothing. Be a bon vivant minimalist.
Refuse to eat and drink anything but the best. Be a gourmet not a gourmand. Don't overeat.
Refuse to experience and enjoy anything but the best
Learn to socialize with everyone.
Montesquiou encapsulated the romantic, literary and aesthetic excesses of his predecessors
Appreciate arts and culture. Learn to play at least one instrument well and learn to sing, learn to draw and paint, learn to dance, learn photography, read, become a movie connoisseur. Go to museums, exhibitions, art and culture events. educate yourself about these things.
Create yourself a perfect style. Have a capsule wardrobe of the best items, and then expand with the accessories. Always be perfectly dressed. Aim at elegance, style and class, but be unique and creative. Be stylish. Style isn't one thing, style is your thing.
Take the best care of your physique. Be well-groomed. See that you are always as polished as you possibly can, from top to toes. From hair to shoes.
See that your hair is clean, the dye is as it should be, the cut is good and the coiffure in order.
See that you clean your skin daily.
See that your teeth are clean and your breath nice.
See that your posture is good.
Exercise. Be fit.
Don't get fat.
Behave as if you were a great beauty or incredibly handsome - or more than mere beauty. You are unique and special, striking, extraordinary.
Learn to
enhance what's good and if you can't hide your flaws, make them into
what makes you extraordinary. Cultivate charm and radiance. Be alive,
full of energy.
Cultivate your manners and etiquette. Always be the perfect gentleman or lady.
Don't use the subway if you can avoid it. Stay above ground, and enjoy the sunlight and day and nature and weather.
Be a philanthropist. Learn to love people and their stories. Everyone has a story.
It would be good if you knew how to ride, swim, play golf and tennis, and how to shoot.Basically, you should be able to do any sports with adequate skills and ease.
Look for novelty and excitement. Choose adventure. Collect experiences. Try everything. Do something scary every day.
Become a traveler. Learn to tell great anecdotes and travel stories. Read a lot of travel stories and learn from them. Have adventures when you travel and do unusual things. Don't do the things most people have on their bucketlists, don't visit the common tourist attractions, find the locals and ask to hang along and join them in things they do, à la Lonely Planet's Six Degrees
Become an epicurean.
Learn to tell jokes and stories. Become a raconteur.
"His conversations were usually long monologues filled with exotic anecdotes, mysterious allusions and obscure classical quotations, all told with a rich vocabulary."
- Robert de Montesquiou
Read a lot. Read the classics. Read the 1000 books everyone should have read. Read the year's prize winners. All of them.
Read with paper and pen and write down good quotes and nice ways of saying things.
Improve your vocabulary.
Read essays, poetry, short stories.
Learn to speak in public.
Become a great host and a great guest - the life of the party.
Learn party tricks.
Learn to make things fun. Be inclusive and safe. Practical jokes might be fun - to the one who makes them - but they are seldom fun to the "victim" - which is obvious by the fact that the victim is often called just that - a victim. It is possible to have fun without anyone getting hurt or sad or feeling awkward and uncomfortable. Find out how and learn how to make that happen.
It helps if you learn to see the fun, the comical, the positive, the funny in every situation, and practice your observation skills.
Learn to inspire people.
Be trustworthy, inspire confidence. Never tell who the people are in your stories, to tell people they can trust you.
Be enthusiastic, instigate things, do things even if you were the only one doing it, join in, invite people.
Be positive. Be inclusive. Be glad, joyful, happy. Be Pollyanna. Don't criticize, don't evaluate, don't judge. There's quite enough of that in the world. Encourage, compliment, show interest and enthusiasm, find good sides in things, use stupid ideas as a springboard to something better and give others credit. People will soon learn that it's only with you things get a silver lining...
Have a never-say-die attitude. Be ambitious, aim high, and never surrender if you want to inspire people that they, too, can accomplish anything they set their mind to.
Don't be a egocentric pompous ass. Don't be better-than-thou or pretentious. Be equal, see and treat everyone as equals, with something to teach to you. Be respectful. Be interested.
a lack of inhibition
a lively personality
his passion—and ability to communicate it.
those who live to hold court
penchant for escapism
strong appetites—for attention, alcohol, drugs or gambling.
"She danced the Charleston with Josephine Baker in Paris and the foxtrot with the Duke of Windsor at El Morocco. Confident and high-spirited, she is said to have convinced Edward VIII to stand on his head and reveal what was beneath his kilt (long johns). On one occasion she seated her dog as a guest at a formal dinner party."
unconventional and capricious (I wonder how to express capricious so it's something positive? :-D
Not predictable, surprising, novel, excited, bubbly, whimsical... eccentric, changeable, coquettish, mischievous, like a fairy or sprite, flamboyant
pursuit of life,
the eclectic tastes
a social butterfly, socialite
The summer garden parties in his new home showcased his genius for entertaining, turning every gathering into a living tableau. The choice of flowers and colors for each occasion, the arrangement of music, the menus, and the careful selection of guests, gave him immense delight.
Could it be that anybody can charm the charmed society? Armed only with grand vision, a sense of generosity about oneself and others and seeking the best of the best?
"Society eats whatever is boring, injured, useless or dumb"
So be interesting, invulnerable and intelligent, be witty and funny, lively and different, unusual, new, ever-changing, fascinating, healthy, straight and strong, be articulated and communicative, be beautiful, bright, colorful, be self- confident and self- sufficient. Be independent.
Dandies are prime Bon Vivants and they notably have a story at the ready for everything. “Oh, this…?…” or “You’ll never guess what happened on my way to…”
Be obsessive about refined language, facts and obscure, wearying hobbies (especially those requiring lads, Dads or gladhands to assist)
Be a self-made person, live a magnified style of life regardless of background
an unmitigated lack of pretension
“Living proof that charm and experience will always matter more than Money.”
she was one “who gathered friends with the kind of passion others have for collecting stamps, art or butterflies.”
desire, energies, elements and people
When life gets grey, boring and stale, the bon vivants invent!
The Essence of Style: How the French Invented High Fashion, Fine Food, Chic Cafes, Style, Sophistication, and Glamour
Bon Vivant seducers whose sultry mix of the sacred and profane references hit the spot
Escape, claim or disdain your royal, exotic or mundane roots
Walk with Royal carriage or at least employ car service
Use make-up or facial expressions to make Eyes like Helena Blavatsky, who had ” large, luminous blue eyes whose strange spiritual expression fascinated all who came within her influence”
Reference immortal experience to create an age uncertain
Utter prophetic and seductive visions at uncanny times
Gather a curious mixed set of literary and artistic friends, Bohemians, visionaries, cranks and an occasional practical thinker from Wall street or the colleges
Be a conversationalist of rare magnetic power
Like Helena, be “an accomplished linguist, as most Russians are, “she spoke French, German, Italian, Spanish, Russian, Hindostanee and several Arabic dialects with ease and fluency”
Display a deep knowledge of the ancient and modern literature and philosophy of many lands
Enjoy robust dinners washed down by good wine
Cultivate odd, disarming wee habits, so as to humanize and have others feel superior over you, such as feigned incongruous insecurities or smoking Turkish cigarettes of a peculiar and excellent quality
Never be a Bore
the essence of an adventurous and refined playboy
Rubi was a likeable, charming guy. He was a really cool and fun chap.
Birds flying high you know how I feel
Sun in the sky you know how I feel
Reeds driftin on by you know how I feel
It’s a new dawn
It’s a new day
It’s a new life
For me
And I’m feeling good
Fish in the sea you know how I feel
River running free you know how I feel
Blossom in the tree you know how I feel
Dragonfly out in the sun you know what I mean, don’t you know
Butterflies all havin’ fun you know what I mean
Sleep in peace when day is done
That’s what I mean
And this old world is a new world
And a bold world
For me
Stars when you shine you know how I feel
Scent of the pine you know how I feel
Oh freedom is mine
And I know how I feel
