Wednesday, September 19, 2018

Find my soulmate

It really isn't difficult. It's actually very easy and simple. But you might not want to do the work...

1) Get happy with who you are. You don't have to change at all, in any way, because your soulmate wants YOU, just the way you are. The fat, ugly, crumpy, unfit, sourpuss besserwisser, or what ever name you call yourself when you feel you aren't worthy. You just have to be OK with who you are. If you don't want to live with you, you can't believe anyone would.

2) Get active. Of course it's possible that your soulmate finds you - there is this story of a woman who was dreaming of an active, handsome and fit man, but she never left her house unless she absolutely had to. Her friends was trying to fix her up, trying to get her become more active, but she wouldn't. Then, one day, her dream man dropped from the sky... he was a parachuter and the jump went a bit wrong, so he fell into her garden. They liked each other the first sight, started discussing, and one thing lead to another, and they got married and have lived happily ever after. I mean... it happens. But the chances of it happening grow, if you increase the amount of people you meet.

So - get active in the areas of life, occupations, hobbies, you are interested in, and could imagine doing with your soulmate. I met mine at Tolkien society :-D

About 1/5 meet their spouse at internet; through dating sites or just social media.
About 1/5 meet their spouse through friends. Your friend's friend (or sibling's friend) might be your soulmate.
About 1/4 meet their spouse at school or work
About 1/8 meet their spouse at a bar or nightclub
About 1/10 meet their spouse at an event - sport, church, concert etc.

3) Learn to talk with anyone. Talk with everyone.

How to identify your soulmate

4) Ideas for first dates:
https://www.eharmony.co.uk/dating-advice/dating/first-date-ideas#.XWfTe3tS_IU
https://www.elitedaily.com/p/50-cool-first-date-ideas-youll-wish-youd-thought-of-yourself-8602650
https://www.artofmanliness.com/articles/the-8-very-best-first-date-ideas/
https://bestlifeonline.com/first-dates/
https://www.mantelligence.com/first-date-ideas/

STAY AWAY FROM PEOPLE WHO ARE TAKEN.
If they are your soulmate, they'll find you when they are free.
And if you happen on a person who lies about their status, get rid of them immediately you find out they lied. It doesn't matter if they are separated or "the marriage is over" or "they are taking time off", or "in an open relationship", or what ever. If he/she can't wait until they are 100% available and not cheating on someone, you don't want to be with him/her, BECAUSE YOU WILL BE NEXT.

Also, "falling in love" means that you find the other person attractive and want to have sex with them. It doesn't mean you "love" him/her or that he/she is your soulmate or you "are in love". It doesn't excuse anything, it doesn't justify anything, it's not reason enough to do anything (except, PERHAPS, to have sex). It doesn't mean you have found your soulmate. One important question to ask here is if you want to see them happy even if it meant that you are unhappy or if you want to see yourself happy even if it meant that they are unhappy - meaning that you want them to be with you, stay with you, choose you always, inspite of the options. If you can be sincerely happy about them finding their soulmate when that person isn't you, and smile and congratulate them on their wedding day, even when your heart breaks, then you love them. If you would sabotage the wedding because you are 100% certain of that they would be happier with you, then you don't really love them.

BUT - it is very much possible to learn to love someone.


Most arranged marriages "succeed", because there is a trick in being in a successful relationship. It is "make it work". Don't consider divorce an option. It is possible to make EVERY ASPECT OF A MARRIAGE work with a person who isn't your dream spouse or soulmate. Millions of people do it every day. And might be that in the end, you realize this person WAS your soulmate after all.

(Unless there's violence involved in the relationship. Then staying in it is not an option, how ever much it is possible to "fix" it. People who use violence; physical, mental, psychological, social, economical, any kind, on people, especially friends and family, should not be in a relationship.)

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