I want desperately friends. I have seen all those movies and tv shows with a group of friends that experience amazing things and get through difficult times together. I want to be a Friend, and a Golden Girl, and BFF and all kinds of things.
I read other people's bucket list adventures, and feel desperately alone. "I could, too, if I had friends like that. I would, too, if..."
I listened to Barbara Sher's Ted Talk, "Isolation is the dream killer, not your attitude".
But I AM isolated. I expect the world to ignore me. That's what always happens. Nobody wants to do things with me. Nobody wants to be with me. Not even people who have never met me, and don't know that nobody wants me. I ask for help, I ask for company, I ask for someone to see me and hear me, and everyone just walks by as if I was invisible.
The thing is... this feeling is wrong. We have been brainwashed to think we need "friends", and that these "friends" are a special kind of people. In all the tv shows and movies, these friends have plenty of time and interest and energy exactly when we need it, and the exact right words and they do the exact right things to make the MC feel better and get over the bad things, and vice versa, when the friend is in trouble, the MC has the time and energy and resources and everything just as it is needed. And they always have good time, and all that. That is not real.
In real life, what you need is people, and these people are everywhere. 99% of world population - and it doesn't matter if you are in Africa or Asia, in the deepest jungles of South America or coldest widths of Arctic. This is what people do. We recognize another human being as just that, another one of our species. We have been spread all over this planet like no other life form just because we help each other and we communicate and we socialize. It's natural to human beings. To tap into that, to make every person you meet a "friend", is to treat them as if they were your friends. And that also means that you let them be when they express they want to be left alone. There's over seven billion people on this planet, you don't need that specific person to be your "friend" at the moment.
Here's Barbara Sher's Idea Party
And when it comes to bucket lists, you don't need a friend who can do what you want to do to help you, to teach you, because the internet is there. And the internet is full of people who are willing to help people they don't know, will never know, won't even know that they have helped these people... you can find a tutorial on virtually any subject online. People have put online totally free, available to everyone, all kinds of programs and tutorials and schedules and plans. You just have to put in the effort. No friends needed, no money needed, no loops to jump, no catches.
I read other people's bucket list adventures, and feel desperately alone. "I could, too, if I had friends like that. I would, too, if..."
I listened to Barbara Sher's Ted Talk, "Isolation is the dream killer, not your attitude".
But I AM isolated. I expect the world to ignore me. That's what always happens. Nobody wants to do things with me. Nobody wants to be with me. Not even people who have never met me, and don't know that nobody wants me. I ask for help, I ask for company, I ask for someone to see me and hear me, and everyone just walks by as if I was invisible.
The thing is... this feeling is wrong. We have been brainwashed to think we need "friends", and that these "friends" are a special kind of people. In all the tv shows and movies, these friends have plenty of time and interest and energy exactly when we need it, and the exact right words and they do the exact right things to make the MC feel better and get over the bad things, and vice versa, when the friend is in trouble, the MC has the time and energy and resources and everything just as it is needed. And they always have good time, and all that. That is not real.
In real life, what you need is people, and these people are everywhere. 99% of world population - and it doesn't matter if you are in Africa or Asia, in the deepest jungles of South America or coldest widths of Arctic. This is what people do. We recognize another human being as just that, another one of our species. We have been spread all over this planet like no other life form just because we help each other and we communicate and we socialize. It's natural to human beings. To tap into that, to make every person you meet a "friend", is to treat them as if they were your friends. And that also means that you let them be when they express they want to be left alone. There's over seven billion people on this planet, you don't need that specific person to be your "friend" at the moment.
Here's Barbara Sher's Idea Party
And when it comes to bucket lists, you don't need a friend who can do what you want to do to help you, to teach you, because the internet is there. And the internet is full of people who are willing to help people they don't know, will never know, won't even know that they have helped these people... you can find a tutorial on virtually any subject online. People have put online totally free, available to everyone, all kinds of programs and tutorials and schedules and plans. You just have to put in the effort. No friends needed, no money needed, no loops to jump, no catches.
