SYED 006: Week 5

#29 Go to a Leather Bar

I wonder if we have lesbian leather bars in Stockholm... would someone try to pick me up, or would my straightness shine through and make me stick out like a sore thumb? 

#30 Slide (let go, don't worry, just flow, slide...)

Yeah... isn't that scary... I wonder what would happen if I was to do what falls in during one day...

#31 Putting Up a Post That May Hurt People

Talk about important things even when one doesn't want to

#32 Buy a Stranger's Groceries

Hmm... I don't think this is... hmm...

#33 Introduce Myself to My Neighbor

(The interesting, nice neighbor - maybe you find a new friend :-))

#34 Me Vs. TSA

Now, I love flying, and I don't care about all the nuisances and discomfort that happen. I happily sit anywhere, I have no problems with other passengers or safety checks or searches (I have managed to get the metal detector to peep every time I have flown - except once. And then I shouted out my surprise in a high voice, so of course, they checked me with the handheld scanner :-D

I really don't know what would be a scary alternative for me... (or something I avoid doing because I don't like it.)

#35 Showing my parents my videos + telling my mom about that time when I...

I don't have any secrets from my parents, and it's a good thing because my dad is dead and my mom is as good as... she wouldn't probably understand much of what I told her. 

SYED 005: Week 4

#22 Go to a dance club

Especially if I do it alone

#23 Make a sequel (video to YouTube)

#24 Shaving the Goatee 

I don't have a goatee, so perhaps try some new hairdo. Like, an undercut or a fancy dye job.

#25 Telling a Coworker to Be Quieter

I still don't have any coworkers, but standing up for myself, or someone else. To get a karen back off. Or something. Hmm... takes some thinking, but it's a good one.

#26 Walk Through a Soundstage

I wonder if there even was a soundstage around here I could be walking through :-D I don't live in LA. But maybe stalking the royalty? I mean, I live in Sweden, we do have a king, a queen, princesses, and princes. And then there are the Norwegian and Danish royalties as well, close enough. 

#27 Meet Someone Through This Blog

Yeah, it would be nice, and scary, but it's not going to happen :-D
So maybe I could be someone else's someone they meet through their blog :-D

#28 Table dancing

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X_bTqWzTDak

SYED 004: Week 3

Yeah... it didn't quite go the way it should have :-D 004 means the fourth DAY, not the fourth post. X-]

#14 and #15 were filming a video and posting it on YouTube, so there will be only six things for this week.

#16 Geocaching - now this I should do, now that I have a smartphone with GPS. There are even a couple of caches within walking range from my home. It's on my bucket list, too :-D

#17 Exposing Myself on Reddit

#18 Working on Not-So-Forever Alone - asking someone out

#19 Reveal My Crush 

Oh, crap. Been there, done that. Don't recommend it. Now I'm the crazy stalker "nice girl" to this guy. 
What the heck. Of course, I recommend it. Sure, it hurts like hell when you really like someone and that someone thinks you are disgusting, but there really is more fish in the sea. There is no "Mr. Right" or "One True Love" out there. Everyone is part of everyone else, and there is plenty to love in everyone. Or most people. There might be some totally horrible people out there, but, just think of the most horrific people you know. I'm pretty sure they have had relationships. Just look at Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton. The other important thing is that you will survive. You will survive rejection. And it's highly likely that you will find someone better. After all, that a-hole rejected you. They wouldn't have been that nice in a relationship anyway, would they? 

#20 Throw a Dart at a Map and Go There

Now, why wouldn't I do this with a smaller map? It doesn't need to be the whole world. (With my luck and dart throwing skills, I'd probably get the dart in the middle of the Atlantic ocean:-D)
I could start with an SL traffic map. (SL is the public transportation company here in the Stockholm area. I have the travel card.)
Hmm... it's a bit like that thingy... what was it called... Randonautica! Except that this is TOTALLY random coordinates with no one knowing where I'm going because it's not being recorded anywhere until I have done it. :-D
And after a couple of times adventuring the Stockholm area, I can expand the map into Scandinavia, Europe, World...

#21 Breaking the Work Barrier

With other words, making a real friend of a coworker. Now, I don't have any coworkers. I could find out one of my acquaintances from previous jobs, and try my luck there... but that's a bit stalking. :-D 

SYED 003 - 2nd week

 Another thing I forgot from the previous post, traveling alone. Basically, doing things alone. Several years ago, I was planning on flying to Paris very early in the morning and then flying back home very late in the evening, not staying in Paris overnight. Alone, managing with my very limited French. It never happened, because I'm afraid. :-(

Anyway, to Greg's second week. #8 was Seeing an Old Friend

My mother has Alzheimer's. I haven't been able to see her since my father died and my mother's Alzheimer's became undeniable. It felt like she failed me, that she wasn't my mother any longer, that my mother had died when my father died. I wished she had. I didn't want to have this stranger in my life pretending to be my mother. I think I need to go home and face my mom. 

#8b Went to a "strip" club. 

Well... maybe doing a burlesque act myself could be this.

#9 Fear of Failure

THINGS PEOPLE FEAR
- hard work
- standing up
- doing the right thing
- sucking
- rejection
- asking for help
- asking for more
- chasing dreams
- cooking
- equality
- accepting criticism
- apologizing
- letting go
- committing
- leading

I'm not afraid of hard work, I just can't do it for long :-D I'm not afraid of cooking either, but I'm terrified of sewing :-D Especially cutting the fabric. I have no problems accepting criticism, and the Karen that could make me cry or cower hasn't been born yet, and won't be. :-D I have no problems or prestige in apologizing either.  Also, no fear of committing. It's more the other way around, chasing dreams, jumping into the deep water, leaving the safety and security and daring. That's scary. 

I don't think I'm afraid of standing up and doing the right thing. 

Rejection is a bit hard. Asking for a "chance". Asking for anything, really, help, more, love, companionship... But I'm married, so it's not a good idea to start asking for love :-D I have no problems asking for love from my husband. Or anything else. No problems. It's the "world" I have problems with, I don't think they want to give me anything. 
And I have huge problems using money on myself. I would need a new laptop, or take the old one to get a new screen, and that is something I'd NEED. *sigh*

Hmm... what can I ask for "more"?

#10 "Telling My Friends About This Blog"

Well... writing a book and telling my friends about that book, marketing my books, that would be a big thing. I think my friends all know about my blogs.

#11 Spilling the Beans: The Aftermath and The Long Ohm

I would really want more interaction about my bucket list. :-( I don't know how that's going to happen, because I cannot find anyone near me who is interested in bucket lists. Hard to plan to do things together when one is alone :-D (And my hubby's things are not my things. Also, he doesn't like bucket lists. :-()

#12 was that he started writing screen scripts again. Now, that would be something. 

#13: Going Home Again

This ties with #8... Maybe I'll do this. It would be nice to rent a car and take Henric with me, drive through Lapland (from Stockholm to Finland, my parents' home), and visit some places on the way... we could sleep in the car, or maybe borrow my BIL's tent and sleeping bags... That would be scary :-D

#14 Shoot a Video

Yes, definitely scary :-D

(Now, the #15 is to post the video on YouTube for all to see... Yes, definitely scary :-D)

SYED 002 - first week, plans

The second thing that scared Greg was spring cleaning.

Now... it doesn't scare me, it's bothersome and I don't like it. I would need to do a Mari Kondo, and get rid of everything that doesn't make me happy, or is necessary and beautiful, that just junks up my home, and all that. I mean, we live in a pretty run-down highrise, but the worn-out surfaces are better when they are clean.

Also, it would take more than a day to clean all this up. I'm a bit of a hoarder.

I think I'd like to do the Red Paperclip thingy.

His #3 was Work Presentation. I don't have that kind of work. I don't know what would be equivalent in my life... 

His #4 was going to the back of the yoga class, as he was usually in the front. He didn't go to the back back, just not in the front.

I find going to yoga classes very scary :-D So, maybe starting a new class? They are just really expensive... :-(

So, I need to get more money. I read about this woman who wrote a 100 "books" a year, and two years later had $10.000 income a month. Basically passive income. I'd love to have that, but... trying to get one's books published, that's scary :-D What if I don't have her success? If I had $10.000 income every month, I could do everything I've ever dreamed of, and get a lot more things to my "scary things to do" list, and then, perhaps, they wouldn't be that scary any longer. You know, I want to take all kinds of classes and join all kinds of clubs and activities, etc. but I don't, because it costs money I need for other things. There's also some more affordable activities being organized for people, which I could do, but I won't because I'm scared... 

#5 was "admitting defeat". More likely, admitting being wrong and redoing a work that wasn't good enough. Anyway, I don't have problems with that. 

#6 "Talking to someone new". I'd like to do the 100 strangers project.

#7 was "Alone in LA" - he went to a club alone at the night. That would be something... 

syed 001:

Greg did it. I can do it, too. This is my SYED

Now, I don't think half of the things he did were scary at all. We all have different things we find scary.

So, start by making a list of things you find scary. 

His first scary thing to do was to go to a party by himself. Now, I do find that scary, but I am never invited to any parties, so it's not something I could do... perhaps I need to work a bit to get to that point. Hmm...

So - something similar; go to a Meetup meeting alone.

Take this as CBT - you go to the party to see what you need to train, practice, get better with, and what you like. What about parties you find annoying, boring, stupid, scary? What would make the experience better? 

It might be that you are shy and you are afraid nobody will talk with you. Then you should learn to talk with other people. Learn to mingle. Learn to be a good guest. Learn some party tricks. All this is just a question of practice. 

The secret of being an extrovert is finding others more interesting than yourself, being enthusiastic and open-minded, and having a streak of entertainer and exhibitionist in you :-D Now, the last one isn't something one should train if you don't have that streak. It's totally fine to be quiet and not the center of happenings. You can let the true extroverts have that scene. But finding people interesting is not difficult. See them as characters from books, for example, if you cannot see anything interesting in actual human beings. Also, being enthusiastic and open-minded - practice saying "yes" to most things. 

Another thing that makes your parties more enjoyable to you is to dress appropriately and comfortably and see you are clean and smell nice. And smile. Be friendly. Be open and welcoming.